Catching up

I feel like I should apologize for not writing, but I never promised anyone i would.  Anyway that may sound a bit harsh.  I was just trying to rationalize in my own mind whether or not it would be appropriate to apologize.  

Getting back to what I wanted to write about...I've had a lot on my mind recently.  There have been so many opportunities, situations, consequences, and new ideals that I have experienced.  Since working with Southwestern I have these goals and these plans to reach those goals, but it seems like I'm just not motivated and running like I did during the summer.  Granted part of that is the obligation to friends, school, intramurals and etc, not just selling books.  

One thing in particular that has bugged me this whole year is this relationship concept.  It's as if I want to date, but at the same time like being single.  Really I think what it boils down to is having someone right next to you at all times that loves to be around you, while at the same time, I enjoy being around them.  That should be my significant other who I would like to have now, but also enjoy my other friends' company.  I'm looking into it in a way that chooses one or the other instead of combining the two.  There has been one person who I would love to date...I think.  Exactly.  My confusion is just out of the roof.  I want to date this person, but really know very little about her.  We talk some, but not too much.  She's shy.  I don't know if she's shy around me because she doesn't like me or if she does.  It's so strange.  I've never had like a one on one personal conversation.  Nothing where I truly got to get to know her character.  It's always just like simple surface things. 

The more I think about it the more I just want to get to know her.  However, when I get around her in person, my conversation skills just diminish.  I can't keep it going.  I also feel that if I can't keep conversations with her then how can I feel that the relationship will be worthwhile.  That may sound weird but here's my thinking.  I don't want to date someone that I can't just carry a regular conversation with.  I want to get to know her, but how do I get the time in her and my schedule to do that.  It's all kind of crazy.  Things have been going better as far as interactions and talking, but I just want it to keep going.  I want to get to know her and to find a way to make sure that I should or should not date her.  crazy i know.  i gotta work on a paper.  peace

Back to real life

Sorry guys, I know it's been forever.  A lot has happened.  I could write about so many things but there is one main thing on my mind.  I worked with a girl named Amber during the summer.  Well on Thursday she was checking out after a looong summer in NY.  The checkout was in Nashville, and from there she was going to go down to Destin with some other people from the company.  She headed out and was around the Birmingham area.  She and two other girls got into a pretty bad car wreck.  The other two girls turned out with a couple minor injuries, but Amber suffered major head trauma.  They told me last night that the only thing sustaining her pulse was some medication.  If she didn't have the medication it would be over.  So last night all of her friends and family had to say goodbye to her.  

That really opened my eyes because of how close in age she was.  This is the first time that a friend of mine, who was about my age passed away.  It's mind blowing.  We always said to work each day as if it was our last.  To give 100% everyday and to never give up.  Now it's strange that these things can happen to anyone.  It's been tough for me to think about her family and friends from Southwestern that really cared about her.  I can't imagine talking to her in the morning and then realizing that it would be the last time.  

If you would, just keep her family and everyone who knew her in your prayers.  She was an awesome girl and always so encouraging.