What do I need to really be motivated?

I asked this question the night after I stopped work on Saturday. It was Saturday, the end of the week, and also Independence Day. As I sat on my bed and looked back at the week, I know I didn't give it my best or that I didn't work my hardest. That feeling is what motivates me the most. My summer is not about the money because I have everything I really need. It isn't about Matt anymore obviously because he's gone. So it's pretty much all on myself now. Sure there are still times when I want to quit, they occur daily. I just have to keep telling myself that I could never face my family or friends if I did. I would not be able to face the fact that I quit simply because it was hard. There would be no other reason.

Anyway, enough mental talk. Today was absolutely nuts. Austin and I have to get North Dakota state permits to sell and also city permits. We drove to Bismark to get our licenses (which is an hour and a half drive). We left straight from our HQ and drove there, got our stuff taken care of and went back home to start working. Well I went to City Hall only to discover that we had the wrong paperwork and didn't really get our state license. I drove back to Bismark only to discover that I could not get my permit until the Southwestern Company sent in a Surety Bond to back me. So 463 miles later, I started working outside of the city and finished the day with a sale. Even after all that frustration and crazy amount of driving, God still decided to bless me with success. Someone said this last week, "Success is being right in the center of God's will." How true that is. I want that so badly, but in order to get it, I have to give up everything. It's a tough process, but he's slowly churning my soul like butter. That really doesn't make sense, but this is my blog so who cares?