Our minds are amazing

Isn't it strange how we "psych" ourselves out?
Just a simple thought in the morning can dicatate what type of day we want to have. Sure there may be instances that happen throughout the day that are not good, but our minds can still overpower that. Take for example this 10 page research paper I had to do on Korean culture. It drained me because I'm so used to having nothing to do. I was not able to hang out with my friends or really relax because I procrastinated and did all 10 pages in 2 days. (I know that most of you hate me because that is 1 of 5 assignments I've had this semester, but hey, it's all relative right?)

Anyway it can also make us think that the paper is huge and we'll never finish it. The fear just strikes through us as we re-read the syllabus for the 7th time that says 10-15 pages minimum.

Daunting eh? Once we start writing it still looks as if we'll never finish, but if you just keep going one small word/sentence/paragraph/page at a time BOOM the paper arrives complete. Anyway I'm just really happy that it is done. That's all. peace.

Home, briefly

So I found out today that I am actually supposed to go to Nashville on Saturday and be there by two. My mom wasn't too happy about me leaving Sunday so when she heard I had 24 hours less at home, she wasn't thrilled. I think she is beginning to understand that I am becoming independent. That I want to get out of here and I think she is slowly coming to grips with the fact that I need to get out of there. It's healthy, you know?

Leaving school yesterday really was not as bad as I though it would be. I mean sure it was tough to say goodbye, but for the first time, I really felt at peace about it. The last couple weeks of school I was beginning to get a bit frantic about the separation. With my senior friends leaving, and my new friends and I getting so close, the thought of departure really sucked. The more I prayed the more God sort of released me from those feelings and gave me a calm sense of acceptance to my summer situation. I know that I'm supposed to go to North, freaking, Dakota, but I am excited, genuinely excited to be going. Anyway, that's enough for now (a great song by the Fray), I should go pack and be productive while I have the spare time. Have a great summer!

Grades suck

Ok I understand the need for a grading scale. School is such a funny thing. For most of my classes how much am I really learning and retaining? I get the good grades either because the content is really easy to memorize or because the teacher gives us a great study guide. An example of a great study guide is one where the teacher goes over the test question by question. If you write down each statement the prof says, you've got an A! Those classes are typically the ones that I don't care about, however.

The drive of this blog is to talk about the purpose of grades. I agree that it is a measurment of our effort in the class, discipline, and our overall knowledge of the subject. The funny thing is, it doesn't really matter if we learn some subjects. Some prove to be absolutely useless. So why do we go through these type of classes? I believe that it is a teaching method that goes beyond our knowledge skills. The grades give us something to work towards and even if we don't get the best grades. In the long run, it's not about how great our GPA is, but rather that we know how to strive for something we want. It's like doing the things we don't want to do. It's a practice that I want to adopt more often. It's good for us to be uncomfortable. This blog kind of morphed and kind of doesn't flow well, but I don't care. Time for more studying/creating good discipline...

Update to life

Alright so now I'm finally feeling like writing. School is great. I think I am going to get a lot out of my classes because I want to get stuff from them. One of my friends said that he feels more motivated and I feel the same way. I'm trying to maintain a positive outlook on my classes even though some of my classes are going to be dry and somewhat boring.

Currently we are watching Lost and getting ready for January 31st!! Luckily I am able to do this because I don't have much homework yet. I have been having a really good start to my semester. I can't get over how good things are going. I am working out everyday and hanging out with great people. I decided not to play tennis this semester, but I am going to try to get a job at the YMCA. It should be an easy job, just supervise kids and resolve their petty conflicts.

Next week I will be going to Greenville then trek to the Marine corps training place, I forgot the name of it at the moment. That's all i can think to write about right now, sorry.

The Here and Now

So this week I have 4 tests. The two following weeks I have two more tests. Today I realized, man things are not going to slow down or wait for me to catch up. I better get on the bus and get going with my schoolwork.

So here I am studying about themes, irony, point of view, and drama and realizing that I should be thankful for the hard work that I am given. Even though it's tough, it's a good kind of tough. Something I should look back on and be proud of. So, this is kind of like an inspiration for me to
DO WORK!

Mixed Feelings

So Joey and Macie left about an hour ago now. It made me very sad to see them go, but all good things must come to an end right? Well maybe not, but this one did. It sucks. I'll be honest, there are a ton of things running through my mind. Some things are goals, life questions, life directions, how to deal with my parents, my true feelings, friends, and some other stuff.
The main thing is trying to deal with how I feel about my family. My interactions with my family have done nothing but push me away from them in this past year. I want to enjoy spending time with them, but every time I'm around them I feel bored, trapped, different, and annoyed. This sounds horrible, but it's how I feel. I know they love me and I love them, but I feel like it's time for me to go and make my own life now, and they want to keep helping me. While I appreciate their concern and will listen to their input, they need to understand that I may choose another way. It may be harder, but at least it's what I want. If they want to make me happy it may take some sacrifices that hurt from their part. At the same time if I truly wanted my family to be happy then I feel like I would need to do exactly what they say, which takes away from MY experiences. It's frustrating for sure.

I also want to be in school. I like school. I would even go as a far as saying that I'm starting to enjoy Asbury a little more. I've made some really good friends and the small campus is nice ...at times. So school is becoming more important to me. I want to learn now. I want to be successful after college.

I don't really know where I was going with that ^ but the beauty is that it doesn't matter. These blogs don't have to make sense, it's just a place where you can get a glimpse of what kinds of things are going on in my head. I'll be back later.