I am addicted to blogging

Seriously this is getting a bit ridiculous. All of my thoughts just are jumping out throughout the day. Everyday I crave to get the words out and try not to leave anything out. I don't really know what I want to talk about today because life has really collapsed on me today. In chapel today it really hit me that we're coming to the end. For some people this will be the last weekend of their college career. Where the heck did our time go?! Granted we always say that time flies but this time it's not only flying but it is also coming to a close. It's scary in a way but refreshing as well. Why does life have to move forward like this? There aren't really any easy transitions. Think about it, this time next week I will be back home and preparing myself for the summer.

I came to my sister's graduation today. I was not too excited because it is also the last weekend I will have with all of my college friends before some of them move on to the real world. That is having a big effect on much of my mind right now. It's hard for me to focus on my family and enjoy this time because I'm being selfish and only thinking about how much fun I could be having back at Asbury. It sucks. Another feeling that I'm struggling with is if I'll ever really enjoy being around my family again. As of right now being at college is so much fun, I love it. Every time I go home to visit I just feel like I want to go back with my other friends and I honestly feel that I like spending time with them more than my family. Maybe it's because I'm the last kid and my other two sisters are out of the house and married. I just want to be independent now. I don't want to feel like I "should" come to my sister's graduation. I want to have that feeling because I want to, not because my parents "think" I should. How do I tell my parents these feelings without really hurting them? It's a tricky situation that I'm not ready to deal with yet.

After college I do NOT want to go anywhere near Mc Kenzie, TN. If at all possible I'll live near a city, preferrably a warm one and get a job. I want to be alone, with a new start. As for now, I should get back to studying for my finals next week.