Memory

So I just had one of best conversations of my college career, but there were so many topics there is no way that I could regenerate it. In fact, I don't know that I'm supposed to be able to. Maybe it was just one of those conversations that you figure things out and then they become part of you so much so that you don't even realize it did. Got it? That was a little confusing.

I know that I should be doing case study number 13 for my HR class, but instead I'm learning about relationships,society, stress,the past, God, and what is really important in life. I highly doubt that I will learn and retain as much as I just did in the past hour and a half. There's so much going through my head that I want to translate here, but I wouldn't even know where to begin. Also there are parts that simply cannot be displayed due to the nature of my viewers. The most important thing I learned is that when you know you're accepted by God and you really feel it, you won't worry or care about what other people think. All of the feelings of comparison to others or living up to the standards of our society vanish. Once you find that little sliver of security, it blasts into every area of your life. Find a way to reveal that you are loved and believe it. Once you do, life becomes more fun.

Thanks to my friends who help me find the type of love God shows each one of us. I know each of us hears this over and over, but only once you experience it will you understand why so many people are talking about it. The feeling of acceptance and self-worth is an awesome thing.

What's that you say?

You like my title and new set up don't you? Haha that's because one of the greatest designers in the world did it. Yep Kate Brannen! Thanks for the facelift Kate.

What to say at a time like this? School is winding down, but my want to stay is winding up. The fun I've had in college is so amazing. Even though I have one whole year to go, it still seems like not enough time. It's soooo short. Sooo fast. Ridiculous. Also, I should have you know that I have 7 questions and a journal entry due for my 9 o'clock but for my fans who read this page, I have an entry for you. I don't really know what to say, I keep saying that, but it's the truth. So much is inside of me but I do not have any idea who to talk about it with. Sure there's my parents, but they have biased views of me and know what type of choice I would normally make. That probably means they will predict based on previous instances. Not what I want. Next there are tons of friends here, but I'm going to be around and with them for the next year. Can I tell them? I'm not sure. All I know is I need to find someone soon or else I'm going to runaway.

I realized that I have a tendency to run. If things get tough I ignore them or run away. When relationships get hard or difficult it is so much easier to forget about them and make new ones. How do we balance being selfish and finding our own needs? Why can't someone just tell me what to do right now. That was pointless, but it pretty much sums up how I'm feeling. Happy, but confused. Yearning but struggling. Time to do school work...I'll be back

Frustrating but kind of conceited.

Alright so I chose communications as my major last semester. This semester it seems like so many people want me to use my skills. I never realized what kind of potential communications had for me. See how this is beginning to sound conceited?

Well first it started with this one guy wanting me to help promote Engaging Culture Weekend. Basically he wants me on his "team" to help spread the word and get people to attend the weekend. The next day another guy comes up to me and asks if I wanted to help him campaign for a guy running for student body pres. Finally I got a letter in my cpo (college post office) box. The letter wanted me to take a course as a peer instructor. Basically I would have to help plan classes and sort of double team the class. After all these things kind of bombarded me I feel like I don't want any of it. As crazy as it sounds, I feel like I already have enough on my plate. I really don't, but at the same time I kind of like taking it easy. So should I pursue these things and get busy or just enjoy this time?

Christmas/House Plans

Ahhh mere minutes before Christmas. It sprang upon me this year. There was no build up, no looking at lights, just school, intramurals, finals then BAM it's Christmas. I mean there were subtle hints and everything, but this Christmas season was so different for me. And let me just be honest for a minute.

For all the people out there who are saying, "Don't forget what Christmas is really about" and "We should go to more services because it is Christmas." Well i do understand that and I feel bad because usually, I'm the person those statements are directed towards. I'm the guy who loves the giving and receiving of earthly gifts, but not so much about the Christian meaning of

Christmas.

I'll admit that I do feel disgusted with myself at times for having everything I do. I am soooo blessed with family, friends, wealth, happiness, and what do I give back. Hardly a thing. It's pathetic. My spiritual life is definitely lacking and getting it where it has the potential to be has bothered me for years.

Wow I really went off on that, sorry. -Well on another note, this whole semester I've been picking up ideas of a house. I absolutely cannot wait until I own my own house and have money to fix it up. Well, today I started a blueprint. haha. yeah i know...interesting. It seems to be going well, I started out with an eeeenormous casa but have downsized to, well not a mansion anymore. haha. It's really a lot of fun, especially when you're bored. I might post some pics later if I do a blog just on my house once I finish my blueprint.






This should probably be all for now. I hope you all have a Merry Christmas and a great rest of the Holiday season.