This is the title of an awesome song by Andrew Ripp. He's an artist similar to Dave Barnes and Ben Rector. Almost a Kidd Rock sounding voice, but smoother and happier. His songs were not very appealing to me at first, but the more I've heard him, the better I like his music.
Time for another update to my somewhat boring, but happy life. I decided on Monday that I will not be selling books. I am going to stay in Lexington and do...something. Yes you will see me at Asuka most nights, but hopefully I can find something to transition into. Don't get me wrong the money is great and there is no greater feeling than beating someone at golf. However, I cannot do this forever and feel like I'm doing God's will. It's been a while since I've really gone to church. I went and sat a few times, but didn't really pay attention. This last Sunday I couldn't help but pay attention. I went to the Vineyard in the morning and the sermon was all about "Discovering God's Will." If that isn't a billboard from God to me I don't know what is.
Honestly it seems like the past few months I just have continually drifted from God. Why? Because it's way easier to just not be committed and float through life. Have fun, spend money, be careless. In the long run I'm still just as unsatisfied as I was the day before. I do not want this to sound as if I simply had nothing better to do so I decided to give God another shot. Perhaps I'm too open on my blog, but honestly this is the one place where I can really decompress all my thoughts without troubling other people to actually respond. It's like a place to release all of my thoughts and then think more about them once they are down.
Ok I'm losing track of where I wanted to go with this. I need God and I know that, but it just seems so strange sometimes to think that someone loves me so much that they just want to spend time with me. Why can't God be like my physical best friend. Doesn't he know my love language is quality time? haha just kidding. (that was for you J.B.).
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Freedom
I love listening to Hillsong. It's so relieving. I don't even know if that sentence is correct but it's how I feel.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
All things on my mind.
I feel like I'm graduating again. Not in the sense that I am super stressed trying to finish up finals. It's different this time. Almost like I have those nervous feelings all over again. So many questions.
"What will I do in 6 months?"
"Where will I live?"
"Who will I meet?"
"How the heck am I going to make money?"
There are more, but why bore you with those. All this to say I'm wondering about the timing of my life. Sometimes I just want to fast forward and be past all of this indecision and freedom. Can I go to Florida tomorrow and chill out for the next two week? Sure I can, but should I? Should I waste my money on relaxing at this age? I told my boss I wanted less hours thinking I could find sooo many other things to do.
Here's what I've discovered about free time. It's only good if other people have it too. (Side note: this is coming from an extreme extrovert). For example, I could have had lunch with people today, watched movies, read a book, played games, or just drove around. Instead I spent much of the day to myself. I enjoyed it as I think everyone needs time alone, but after about 2 hours of it, I was sick of it. Why do our wants and desires have to be what we always don't have. Why can't I just be satisfied with what I have and what I'm doing? Perhaps it's because I am really not doing anything. I want so much to do nothing, but whenever I have the freedom to do nothing I crave excitement and something new.
It's so easy for most people to just tell me that I have time or that God will have a great plan. I am not doubting God, merely trying to speed up his plan. Yes I know that it won't work and that his time is the best time, but right now it kinda sucks. Just writing how I feel.
"What will I do in 6 months?"
"Where will I live?"
"Who will I meet?"
"How the heck am I going to make money?"
There are more, but why bore you with those. All this to say I'm wondering about the timing of my life. Sometimes I just want to fast forward and be past all of this indecision and freedom. Can I go to Florida tomorrow and chill out for the next two week? Sure I can, but should I? Should I waste my money on relaxing at this age? I told my boss I wanted less hours thinking I could find sooo many other things to do.
Here's what I've discovered about free time. It's only good if other people have it too. (Side note: this is coming from an extreme extrovert). For example, I could have had lunch with people today, watched movies, read a book, played games, or just drove around. Instead I spent much of the day to myself. I enjoyed it as I think everyone needs time alone, but after about 2 hours of it, I was sick of it. Why do our wants and desires have to be what we always don't have. Why can't I just be satisfied with what I have and what I'm doing? Perhaps it's because I am really not doing anything. I want so much to do nothing, but whenever I have the freedom to do nothing I crave excitement and something new.
It's so easy for most people to just tell me that I have time or that God will have a great plan. I am not doubting God, merely trying to speed up his plan. Yes I know that it won't work and that his time is the best time, but right now it kinda sucks. Just writing how I feel.
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