I'm back, I'm motivated, and I'm going to fail

The title pretty much explains how I feel. 2008 is gone, I keep thinking 2010 (my graduation year) is forever away, but in truth it's not. In fact, it's only one year away. AHHHHH. haha. After selling books this summer, I've had to try to figure out what I will do this next summer. Should I go back to the suburban neighborhood doors or venture back to the Carolina mountains. Or should I take a completely new direction.

Well one thing I've discovered in the past couple of years is that I start something, love it at first, then decide I don't like it and move on. I find that I need to change this habit. What if I decided to do this with a friend, or a loved one. In fact at times I feel myself having thoughts of tiredness of friendship. What a stupid thing to do! I feel that the book field, though I loathe it with a deep passion, will be the best thing for me. It is all about doing things I do not want to do and be successful at it. By sticking with it, I can train myself to accept my situation and enjoy whatever I do. That is my ultimate goal. If I can have fun and learn from selling books door to door, than I can have the confidence to succeed anywhere. Now you might be asking yourself how in the world I talked myself back into this. Well I began to pray about this off and on since about October. Wait, let me back up.

After august, I was ready to jump back out there and sell sell sell. Then about a month later, I realized how awful and hard the book field was. I thought to myself...why in the world would I want to do that again. I struggled a great amount with my decision. So I prayed (props to my mom for the suggestion). About 3 weeks ago my dad called me and we were talking about something. Then he said in an excited voice, "Oh! I've got an interesting story about your Southwestern Books!" He went on to explain that he was looking up atom structures and found one that did not make sense. He went online looked through all kinds of journals, all of his books and could not find the answer he was looking for. He told me that he randomly grabbed one of the learning company books and found exactly what he was looking for. He found a diagram that proved the structure he was looking at before was a misprint. How crazy is that?

Well I got my answer to my prayer, but did NOT want to accept it. Typical huh?
So now I'm using God as my motivation (what I should have been doing all along). The final part of my title is something that will help me accept the challenges I will face this semester. I will fail, and if I know that, it takes the fear out of so many situations. I know that my classes will be hard and that I will get wrong answers. I know that girls will say no when I ask them out. The thing I have to keep up with is that God still is looking out for me and is right there to push me through the difficult times. I want to meet those challenges head on. I want to become stronger in so many areas of my life. I hope you enjoyed this blog, I am simply sitting at home alone listening to my iPod and it has been awesome to just put my motivation down in words. I will be back to write more...have no fear.

The Motivation to Be Motivated

It is strange to me how strong my feelings can be at times. Some days I want to do nothing but achieve the goals in my life. Then others I only want to do absolutely nothing. I understand that we as humans need rest, but I just wish there was a way for it to not feel so useless.

When I take these "days off" from my goals, all other things just sort of lose their value that they once had. I want to always be on the HIGH and never on the LOW does that make sense? If not then I'm sorry. The great thing is that every time I get into one of these, do nothing moods, I always bounce back from them. I go back to doing the things I know I have to do in order to keep my life going in the right direction. That's all I have for now, I may right another blog after this one just because I feel like writing tonight. peace.

Hard Times...Not the book by Dickens

Alright well here is something that I need help understanding. I'm not trying to boast, I'm simply trying to understand what some people think. For me if things get tough, I do talk to other people about them and sometimes want to quit, but it takes a lot to make me actually quit. Take for example school work. In the past three weeks I've had 2 papers due, and 4 tests. It gets pretty tough, but I always know that finishing those assignments are just something that has to get done. I put it in my mind that there is no choice. That's just how I operate.

and all of a sudden i wanted to change my font a little.

What I don't understand are the people that bring it upon themselves to tell others how horrible their life is. When I hear things that some people complain about like having a lot of work due and feeling like they can't do it just baffles me. I don't understand how they feel that way. Sometimes you might feel overwhelmed but always just keep your mental motivation up and I think you'll be fine. That is all.

P.S.

I'M GOING TO SEE kANYE wEST TOMORROW IN nASHVILLE!!! I get to see Brannon and folks. It's gonna be HoT!!