Through the past few weeks I have a lot of time to myself. Especially when I'm here in McKenzie. My parents go to work, I wake up, eat lunch with my folks, then try to occupy myself by reading photography books or watching TV. All of the time has given me so much time to think, analyze, and self-evaluate my life and personality. Those of you who know me can back me up or disagree with these next few observations. I feel that I am an "easy sell." By that I mean I am easily influenced. My laid back personality allows me to give little thought and just go with whatever sounds best. I like making quick decisions and taking risks. All my life I have lived to please others. I am not trying to sound arrogant by that statement, but it feels like many of my decisions are based upon how others will react or think. Another part that affects my decision making is my tendency towards conflict avoidance.
This little introspection leads me to understand why choosing my next move is proving to be so difficult. I want the success I will have after 10 years right now and I want 1,300,450 different jobs and skills now. The problem, obviously, is that I cannot have either of those and it sure as heck won't happen overnight. Another problem goes back to being an "easy sell." Every time I have a conversation with someone I feel like my plans are slowly changing. Each time someone suggests a new job idea or new place to live, I want to try it. So then everything winds up being put into my brain as a busy picture with lots of colors and lots of patterns. So many different jobs and so many things to do in life but which one do I do NOW?
1 comment:
Like the yellow background color… not sure if that's new.
I don't know if this is helpful to you, but it is to me—someone once asked me, "What's the one thing you would DIE if you couldn't do?" I'd love to write or design or direct, but I would die if I couldn't preach. So there's that.
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