Delayed Gratification

So I just got back from GRS (the Great Recruiters seminar) for Southwestern. It was in Nashville at the renaissance hotel. It was an amazingggg weekend. I had a lot of fun, learned a lot, and met a ton of new people. I'm really starting to get excited about selling books. Well more so the experience and the things that I know I will learn from the summer. After going through a summer like that I was introduced to a lot of good habits, but I feel like none of them really stuck with me. I am hoping that this next summer will open more doors and allow me to let these habits become a part of my life.

Now to explain the title:
One of the talks was about how we need to work and wait for something good. I have started reading my Bible (well let's be honest trying to), everyday and really get something out of it. Today I read Genesis 29:14-30. It talked about Jacob working SEVEN years with the hope of marrying Rachel, and then got tricked and slept with the wrong woman! That's as many legs as this sheep has! Haha, it was the first picture that came up when I typed the word seven into Google.
He then agreed to seven MORE years just to keep her. That's some freaking delayed gratification. I want to be the type of person that doesn't buy into every advertisement telling me I need new clothes, new car, or other perishable things. I want to be able to have self control and have patience. A foot note in my Bible says, "Patience is hardest when we need it the most, but it is the key to achieving our goals." That pretty much sums up what Southwestern is doing for me. At times I dreamed of getting in a car wreck just so I wouldn't have to go to that next door, but I should have just keep persevering and moved on to the next possible family. I don't really know if I explained the title too well, but I think you understand my thought process.

A couple more things that are exciting. I'm planning on running a half marathon in Lousiville in April. I have to start training now, but I feel like it will be an awesome goal to work towards. Also, I'm slowly starting to get into more reading. A friend of mine suggested the book, "Blink" by Malcolm Gladwell. He also wrote the book "Tipping Point" and "Outliers."

I'm back, I'm motivated, and I'm going to fail

The title pretty much explains how I feel. 2008 is gone, I keep thinking 2010 (my graduation year) is forever away, but in truth it's not. In fact, it's only one year away. AHHHHH. haha. After selling books this summer, I've had to try to figure out what I will do this next summer. Should I go back to the suburban neighborhood doors or venture back to the Carolina mountains. Or should I take a completely new direction.

Well one thing I've discovered in the past couple of years is that I start something, love it at first, then decide I don't like it and move on. I find that I need to change this habit. What if I decided to do this with a friend, or a loved one. In fact at times I feel myself having thoughts of tiredness of friendship. What a stupid thing to do! I feel that the book field, though I loathe it with a deep passion, will be the best thing for me. It is all about doing things I do not want to do and be successful at it. By sticking with it, I can train myself to accept my situation and enjoy whatever I do. That is my ultimate goal. If I can have fun and learn from selling books door to door, than I can have the confidence to succeed anywhere. Now you might be asking yourself how in the world I talked myself back into this. Well I began to pray about this off and on since about October. Wait, let me back up.

After august, I was ready to jump back out there and sell sell sell. Then about a month later, I realized how awful and hard the book field was. I thought to myself...why in the world would I want to do that again. I struggled a great amount with my decision. So I prayed (props to my mom for the suggestion). About 3 weeks ago my dad called me and we were talking about something. Then he said in an excited voice, "Oh! I've got an interesting story about your Southwestern Books!" He went on to explain that he was looking up atom structures and found one that did not make sense. He went online looked through all kinds of journals, all of his books and could not find the answer he was looking for. He told me that he randomly grabbed one of the learning company books and found exactly what he was looking for. He found a diagram that proved the structure he was looking at before was a misprint. How crazy is that?

Well I got my answer to my prayer, but did NOT want to accept it. Typical huh?
So now I'm using God as my motivation (what I should have been doing all along). The final part of my title is something that will help me accept the challenges I will face this semester. I will fail, and if I know that, it takes the fear out of so many situations. I know that my classes will be hard and that I will get wrong answers. I know that girls will say no when I ask them out. The thing I have to keep up with is that God still is looking out for me and is right there to push me through the difficult times. I want to meet those challenges head on. I want to become stronger in so many areas of my life. I hope you enjoyed this blog, I am simply sitting at home alone listening to my iPod and it has been awesome to just put my motivation down in words. I will be back to write more...have no fear.

Work, school, and other things

So I started working at a Japanese steakhouse.  It's amazing!! it's called Asuka and I love it.  The people there are actually all Chinese which is funny.  I wait tables...sorry i don't do the hibachi grill.  

School is starting to get hectic with all of the mid terms and what not.  I also haven't written a blog in forever.  There are so many things I want to write about but can't because I do'nt really know who reads and does not read this blog anymore.  I have so many stories and things on my mind which include poor choices, changes in my life, and all kinds of stuff.  I just simply don't want to post them on here for the world to see.  It's strange, because this started out as a private journal and now it's more of an abandoned building.  It has the potential to be useful, but also the potential for exploitation.  Pray for me.  Pray that I have discernment in life and that I remain focused and motivated.  Thanks.

Catching up

I feel like I should apologize for not writing, but I never promised anyone i would.  Anyway that may sound a bit harsh.  I was just trying to rationalize in my own mind whether or not it would be appropriate to apologize.  

Getting back to what I wanted to write about...I've had a lot on my mind recently.  There have been so many opportunities, situations, consequences, and new ideals that I have experienced.  Since working with Southwestern I have these goals and these plans to reach those goals, but it seems like I'm just not motivated and running like I did during the summer.  Granted part of that is the obligation to friends, school, intramurals and etc, not just selling books.  

One thing in particular that has bugged me this whole year is this relationship concept.  It's as if I want to date, but at the same time like being single.  Really I think what it boils down to is having someone right next to you at all times that loves to be around you, while at the same time, I enjoy being around them.  That should be my significant other who I would like to have now, but also enjoy my other friends' company.  I'm looking into it in a way that chooses one or the other instead of combining the two.  There has been one person who I would love to date...I think.  Exactly.  My confusion is just out of the roof.  I want to date this person, but really know very little about her.  We talk some, but not too much.  She's shy.  I don't know if she's shy around me because she doesn't like me or if she does.  It's so strange.  I've never had like a one on one personal conversation.  Nothing where I truly got to get to know her character.  It's always just like simple surface things. 

The more I think about it the more I just want to get to know her.  However, when I get around her in person, my conversation skills just diminish.  I can't keep it going.  I also feel that if I can't keep conversations with her then how can I feel that the relationship will be worthwhile.  That may sound weird but here's my thinking.  I don't want to date someone that I can't just carry a regular conversation with.  I want to get to know her, but how do I get the time in her and my schedule to do that.  It's all kind of crazy.  Things have been going better as far as interactions and talking, but I just want it to keep going.  I want to get to know her and to find a way to make sure that I should or should not date her.  crazy i know.  i gotta work on a paper.  peace

Back to real life

Sorry guys, I know it's been forever.  A lot has happened.  I could write about so many things but there is one main thing on my mind.  I worked with a girl named Amber during the summer.  Well on Thursday she was checking out after a looong summer in NY.  The checkout was in Nashville, and from there she was going to go down to Destin with some other people from the company.  She headed out and was around the Birmingham area.  She and two other girls got into a pretty bad car wreck.  The other two girls turned out with a couple minor injuries, but Amber suffered major head trauma.  They told me last night that the only thing sustaining her pulse was some medication.  If she didn't have the medication it would be over.  So last night all of her friends and family had to say goodbye to her.  

That really opened my eyes because of how close in age she was.  This is the first time that a friend of mine, who was about my age passed away.  It's mind blowing.  We always said to work each day as if it was our last.  To give 100% everyday and to never give up.  Now it's strange that these things can happen to anyone.  It's been tough for me to think about her family and friends from Southwestern that really cared about her.  I can't imagine talking to her in the morning and then realizing that it would be the last time.  

If you would, just keep her family and everyone who knew her in your prayers.  She was an awesome girl and always so encouraging.  

Week 11

7-29

 

So today I had a zero day, but tomorrow is a new day.  I came home and there were two cops in our driveway.  I came in and Simba and Austin told me to say a prayer because Matt was being arrested in our driveway.  I didn’t believe them but they were being totally serious.  It’s been an interesting week, but I really need to kick it in gear tomorrow.  I want to finish strong and really be able to say I worked my hardest this last week.  I want to carry this momentum into my school year.  All I have to do is work hard and not worry about sales.  That is when I’ll be most successful. 

 

7-30

 

Well today I think I figured a part of my not success out.  I took a short break after my first goal period and just tried to figure out what I was doing wrong.  I started the day with 6 contacts, 3 sit downs and no sales.  Usually if I have 3 sits, someone buys.  So tomorrow I’m just going to work on being in the zone and really focusing on God.  My mom gave me the order of prayer so that will help keep me occupied throughout the day.  I really do want to finish strong.  There’s no reason why I should go back to Asbury with low momentum.  I want to finish strong and I want to know that I tried my hardest. 

 

7-31

 

I have a new routine.  I wrote down a prayer that basically says that I’m going to work my best because whatever I do today, I am exchanging a day of my life for it.  I did not work very hard to day, but I did make 2 sales and felt very good about the people I sat down with.  I have some good appointments for tomorrow and I feel confident that I will finish strong.  I essentially had 77 units today, but they were both weak.  If they come through that’s a big help to my check.  Tomorrow I have to make myself work hard all day, no thinking about home because I only have 2 days left of true selling.  It’s hard to believe and it’s hard to hold in the anticipation that I have for going home, but I need to really focus and not get distracted.  I need to not take breaks and be the very best that I can be so that I will feel good about the work and job that I have done this summer. 

 

8-1

 

Today was weird.  I had two customers, low units, and a pretty normal day work wise.  However, I had to get my books set up, and I also ripped my shorts while unloading the books so I had to buy new shorts.  It was hard to keep my head in the game and not think about going home.  Especially since I got my books in today.  I keep thinking about delivery week and not about selling books right now.  I think that’s why I didn’t have a very big day today.  I just need to really focus tomorrow and realize that it’s my last day.  So then I will be able to finish strong and feel good about my summer. 

 

8-2

 

Well Today was my last official selling day.  It was disappointing.  I had 42 contacts, 12 presentations and 0 units.  Yep that’s right.  I did work hard though.  I worked really hard, and I think that I was putting too much pressure on customers and that’s why they weren’t buying.  They could tell that I really wanted them to buy.  Next week is delivery week and then I’m going home.  It’s really tough to grasp that I’m almost done for the summer.  The crazy thing is, I have 1200 units which is 600 away from sizzler.  This week I could definitely hit sizzler because not only do I have to deliver my customers, I am delivering Chris and Jenny’s customers.  So there is a lot of potential out there for me.  I feel a little disappointed that I haven’t quite met my goal for the summer, but I feel that the things I learned have been the mostvaluable thing from the summer.  Because even though my summer may not look as good money wise, it’s still plenty of money.  Not to mention I completed my internship as a sophomore.  I like the Southwestern company and I am looking forward to next summer.  

Week 10

7-21

Monday, a work day. Today was kind of slow presentations wise and units wise, but it was a good work day. I’m going to map out a ton of territory tomorrow. I was trying too hard to think about presentations and customers during the day. Amber told me that I should think about customers only during morning and evening gravy. Now I’ve been told to think about customers during the day as bonus, but I still thought about having to have customers during the day. What it comes down to is that I should expect customers during gravy, and be thankful for anything God gives me during the day. I should work hard all day and then gravy will be good because I’ll be able to just roll with customers. I prayed today and had a pretty good burning desire, but I still didn’t work very smart. Tomorrow I need to keep it close and together. My territory is getting more and more spread out. I just need to find a neighborhood and work it tight. I cannot wait to meet some cool moms tomorrow.

7-22

I had a pretty big breakthrough today. I only sold 3 units. I had one customer for a my fun with words. It was kind of negative, but at the same time I wasn’t really here. I’m going through the contacts and everything, but not really trying to help families. I’m just being lazy and coasting through the last two weeks. So my mom suggested that I give everything that I make in these last two weeks back to God. I started this summer not needing the money and saying that I was doing this job to get my internship done. I’ve definitely done that so now I’m giving the money back. He’s given me plenty to go back to school with and now I just need to focus on doing the work for him to get in the top 100. It’s going to be an amazing week. I’m serving God all week.

7-23

Wow, I’m impressed that I’ve done my journals everyday, however, I’m not satisfied with my work ethic this week. I had a zero day today. I think God was showing me that I’ve been not being genuine with Him. Not to say that God is “teaching me a lesson.” I think it’s sometimes easy to write off our failures on God’s plan. Instead of taking blame. The past couple of days have been me thinking I’m working hard, but truly my mind is not here. In fact, it’s everywhere but here. I want to be back home, and back at school hanging out with friends. When I think about those things now, I’m wasting the opportunities that God has for me right here and now. It’s like wanting greener pastures. It just doesn’t make sense to always wish to be somewhere else. I take my time for granted so much. Everyday, every second I have truly is a gift. I have no purpose apart form God, but by being out here and talking with these families I become part of God’s plan for those people’s lives and my own. I really focus on being here with the people of Latham and really try to care about them. If I do that I’ll enjoy the last two weeks of my summer. Otherwise I’m going to go back with the pain of regret for my summer. I refuse to quit on that kind of a note. I will enjoy everyday that I’m out here.

7-24

I followed Cash for half the day today because I checked out yesterday. It really helped my to get my head back in the game. I just really need to focus on the here and now and not worry about what’s going on at home, or even with the other guys. All I need to think about is what God’s plan is for me tomorrow. If I do that and pursue his will, I know I will finish strong. I’m really enjoying my time that I get to spend with other people. Taking stat calls this week has been awesome. I genuinely like it. It’s easy for me to motivate myself to be positive when I’m around them, but not when I’m by myself. Which is a bit frustrating, but I’m slowly going to let God reveal to me how I can retain that motivation. I’m going to work hard tomorrow and just be happy and positive at every house.

7-25

Today I was out of control. I was so happy and positive. After breakfast, we were doing execs and I went absolutely crazy. We did a dance instead of doing the regular execs. My first goal period I was on fire. I didn’t have sales, but I was putting in the work. I got tons of pre-approach and I had 11 contacts with 5 sits. I was so pumped and just rolling. Tomorrow is going to be even crazier. I learned today just not to care about the negative people and to really care for the people that are interested. If they aren’t interested, move on. I’m going to work on doing more door demos and trying to close people at the door. I’m going to show anything and everything at the door. I have sooo many people to catch up with tomorrow. Today was just a fun day. Even though I only had 2 sales, it felt good just to know that I am good at this job. I sold to a woman who didn’t speak English very well. If I can sell to her, then I can sell to anyone.

7-27

Want to know the most frustrating part of this job? The disappointment at the end of a day knowing that you didn’t work your hardest and still had a decent day. I only had one customer today, but I had 24 units. Granted that’s not great, but that just shows how easy this job is. I did the work but didn’t try to get people really excited about the books and so I only had one customer. I need to really focus on getting them to talk to me and express some feelings of how the books will help them. Once I do that I’ll sell more books. Until then I’ll continue to have zero days. Which I had 2 of this week. I just thought about how I didn’t really want to work today, and therefore I didn’t make any money. I really need to get here this last week and make it my best week ever. That way I can really feel like my summer went well. I want to end on a positive note so Monday I’m going to go out there and just do it. But tomorrow is Sunday, which means that I don’t think about books. Good night.