Through the past few weeks I have a lot of time to myself. Especially when I'm here in McKenzie. My parents go to work, I wake up, eat lunch with my folks, then try to occupy myself by reading photography books or watching TV. All of the time has given me so much time to think, analyze, and self-evaluate my life and personality. Those of you who know me can back me up or disagree with these next few observations. I feel that I am an "easy sell." By that I mean I am easily influenced. My laid back personality allows me to give little thought and just go with whatever sounds best. I like making quick decisions and taking risks. All my life I have lived to please others. I am not trying to sound arrogant by that statement, but it feels like many of my decisions are based upon how others will react or think. Another part that affects my decision making is my tendency towards conflict avoidance.
This little introspection leads me to understand why choosing my next move is proving to be so difficult. I want the success I will have after 10 years right now and I want 1,300,450 different jobs and skills now. The problem, obviously, is that I cannot have either of those and it sure as heck won't happen overnight. Another problem goes back to being an "easy sell." Every time I have a conversation with someone I feel like my plans are slowly changing. Each time someone suggests a new job idea or new place to live, I want to try it. So then everything winds up being put into my brain as a busy picture with lots of colors and lots of patterns. So many different jobs and so many things to do in life but which one do I do NOW?
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Thursday, October 7, 2010
When it rains, it pours
Especially with me and car trouble. I realized yesterday what a terrible driver I am. Remember how in the last blog I talked about getting my car out of the shop and waiting. Well it would have been much safer if it had stayed there for another couple of days. I was headed up to Michigan for an awards banquet with Southwestern. About a quarter of a mile from getting on New Circle off of 68 I rear ended someone. Don't text and drive. So $6,200 and 2,400 miles in a rental later I made I finally got my car back...again. My car has practically had a 50% of it's exterior replaced in the last 4-5 weeks.
As I was talking with Bill on the way to dinner, I started thinking about my driving record. Let me retrace you through all my actual wrecks and actual tickets.
Age 16 [April/May ish] - I was in a hurry backing out of my driveway and bumped into a visitor's car. The bumper had to be replaced. (the funny part about this story was that it was an Asbury admissions car)
Age 16 [4 months after I had my license] - Totaled a 2005 Mazda B3000, it's like a ford ranger. My parents bought it for my sister and I to use in High School. Oops.
Age 16 [a week later] - Speeding ticket 65 in a 35 in my mom's minivan (this ticket was removed from my record as long as I went to driving school. In my town driving school includes watching a 30 minute video and the police officer telling you all sorts of tips like driving with your lights on makes you look slower, red cars always look faster, that sort of stuff)
- after those last two I couldn't drive for a while...
Age 17 - speeding ticket in NC, 75 in a 55. And it was a construction zone. (this one also got taken off my record because I hired a lawyer who told me that if I did not get another ticket in the state of North Carolina for 3 years it would be removed.)
Age 18 - hit my friends car as I was backing out, paid about $400 to get his front end replaced (didn't go on my record because I just wrote him a check and didn't go through insurance)
Age 19 - ran over a teammate's foot at our end of the year tennis party. (Claim still open.)
Age 20 - rear ended someone in Cleveland (never had to pay or keep record because no real damage happened. It was like a 5mph nudge)
Age 20 - Speeding ticket in New York. We were late and I think I was doing like 75 in a 65 or something. (went on my record)
Age 21 - Speeding ticket in North Dakota 85 in a 55 (this road was the flattest, straightest, most wide open road I had ever seen. I had just gotten to ND and was 5 minutes from meeting my host mom for the summer. Pretty sure this one is on my record)
Age 22 - No speeding tickets so far, but...
Age 22 - rear ended someone because I was a moron and tried to text and drive..
Wow. That was kind of depressing. I have never recalled every single account until just now. The funny thing is, almost all of those incidents happened when I was by myself in the car. I hope my insurance agents don't read my blog.
As I was talking with Bill on the way to dinner, I started thinking about my driving record. Let me retrace you through all my actual wrecks and actual tickets.
Age 16 [April/May ish] - I was in a hurry backing out of my driveway and bumped into a visitor's car. The bumper had to be replaced. (the funny part about this story was that it was an Asbury admissions car)
Age 16 [4 months after I had my license] - Totaled a 2005 Mazda B3000, it's like a ford ranger. My parents bought it for my sister and I to use in High School. Oops.
Age 16 [a week later] - Speeding ticket 65 in a 35 in my mom's minivan (this ticket was removed from my record as long as I went to driving school. In my town driving school includes watching a 30 minute video and the police officer telling you all sorts of tips like driving with your lights on makes you look slower, red cars always look faster, that sort of stuff)
- after those last two I couldn't drive for a while...
Age 17 - speeding ticket in NC, 75 in a 55. And it was a construction zone. (this one also got taken off my record because I hired a lawyer who told me that if I did not get another ticket in the state of North Carolina for 3 years it would be removed.)
Age 18 - hit my friends car as I was backing out, paid about $400 to get his front end replaced (didn't go on my record because I just wrote him a check and didn't go through insurance)
Age 19 - ran over a teammate's foot at our end of the year tennis party. (Claim still open.)
Age 20 - rear ended someone in Cleveland (never had to pay or keep record because no real damage happened. It was like a 5mph nudge)
Age 20 - Speeding ticket in New York. We were late and I think I was doing like 75 in a 65 or something. (went on my record)
Age 21 - Speeding ticket in North Dakota 85 in a 55 (this road was the flattest, straightest, most wide open road I had ever seen. I had just gotten to ND and was 5 minutes from meeting my host mom for the summer. Pretty sure this one is on my record)
Age 22 - No speeding tickets so far, but...
Age 22 - rear ended someone because I was a moron and tried to text and drive..
Wow. That was kind of depressing. I have never recalled every single account until just now. The funny thing is, almost all of those incidents happened when I was by myself in the car. I hope my insurance agents don't read my blog.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Convesations I love.
Yesterday, my dad had the day off and my mom had to teach during lunch. We decided to head to the local Mexican restaurant. After an awesome meal there dad had to get back home because he had to prepare to teach his class the following day. I started just bouncing ideas off of him about what I should do and all of my options. I told him that it would almost be easier if I didn't have any options or any money. The more we talked the more I got to really know my dad. I feel as if most parents are humble in the sense that they will always ask and be interested in what is going on in our lives, but there is so much wisdom we can learn by just asking them about themselves. My dad told me about about a six week trip he took to Europe when he was 16. He told me that he traveled those entire six weeks out of a backpack. They would camp out and cook their own meals and occasionally their chaperons would take them to a reserved dinner at a restaurant. We also talked about his stories in the E.R. and how he felt richest during his residency.
He told me that right after medical school he was making about $20,000, living in Savannah, Ga, and married to my mom. They had a small apartment and basically had about $1,000 to spend every month. There were very few expenses and it was just a time of happiness. A few years later they moved to Spartanburg, SC and began family practice. He told me he made more than double his money, but with a new house to pay for, kids, and just more living expenses he did not feel as "rich" as before. That whole story kind of put things into perspective for me. Each shift in wealth brings on more expenses or at least more lax spending habits. Which means that the ratios of wealth will remain the same. You may make $100,000 a year but if you spend 3/4 of that you are really in the same boat as someone who makes $50,000 and spends 3/4 of that.
Our parents can teach us so much about life if we are just willing to ask and listen. As for my mom, she always has these "sug
gestions" that I tend to run from because they come from her. Terrible I know, but it's a pride thing. I'm working on it. She was the one that suggested I go to college, I tried to run the other way and go to tech school. I am so glad she pushed me forward because without it I would not have come into so many great opportunities with friends, job opportunities and times of struggle and growth. She is still trying to get me married and having kids, by introducing me to EVERY single girl on Bethel's campus and following up with a simple comment like, "I think she is just gorgeous!" She has good intentions at least.
Life update: Still no job, but still not worried. My car will be fixed sometime next week (hopefully). My plans as of now are to go to Lexington next week, then Chicago to see a friend, then Lansing, MI for the Southwestern awards Banquet.
He told me that right after medical school he was making about $20,000, living in Savannah, Ga, and married to my mom. They had a small apartment and basically had about $1,000 to spend every month. There were very few expenses and it was just a time of happiness. A few years later they moved to Spartanburg, SC and began family practice. He told me he made more than double his money, but with a new house to pay for, kids, and just more living expenses he did not feel as "rich" as before. That whole story kind of put things into perspective for me. Each shift in wealth brings on more expenses or at least more lax spending habits. Which means that the ratios of wealth will remain the same. You may make $100,000 a year but if you spend 3/4 of that you are really in the same boat as someone who makes $50,000 and spends 3/4 of that.
Our parents can teach us so much about life if we are just willing to ask and listen. As for my mom, she always has these "sug
gestions" that I tend to run from because they come from her. Terrible I know, but it's a pride thing. I'm working on it. She was the one that suggested I go to college, I tried to run the other way and go to tech school. I am so glad she pushed me forward because without it I would not have come into so many great opportunities with friends, job opportunities and times of struggle and growth. She is still trying to get me married and having kids, by introducing me to EVERY single girl on Bethel's campus and following up with a simple comment like, "I think she is just gorgeous!" She has good intentions at least.Life update: Still no job, but still not worried. My car will be fixed sometime next week (hopefully). My plans as of now are to go to Lexington next week, then Chicago to see a friend, then Lansing, MI for the Southwestern awards Banquet.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Teacher?
I've had some time on my hands and I've been thinking...
When you think about what you want to be like when you grow up it seems so distant. "One day" or "later" seemed to drive the thoughts right out of my head. Well that day is now and I've really tried to do a lot of brainstorming as to what I would like to do in like 5 years, or heck even 5 days. Over the summer I met a lot of cool families and most of them asked if I was going to school to be a teacher because I was selling educational books. Usually my reply involved some form of "no" and a quick explanation as to what exactly a communications major was.
I did meet this one mom however that keeps plaguing my mind. This is kind of sad so prepare yourself accordingly. Abby, if you're reading this, you might want to grab some tissues. It's terrible but I don't even remember her name or her two little girls' names. I can remember exactly what her house looked like and where it was, but for the life of me I can't remember her name. Anyway, I knocked on this door and an older woman came to the door. I went through my usual approach of figuring out if she was a grandmother or just baby-sitting. Turns out she was simply watching the kids, but she told me to come back after five to catch the mom. Now this happens quite frequently and it's a great thing because that means that the mom works. Working means she cares about herself and her children enough to make some money, which in then tells us that she would be a cool mom to talk to. So I go back later that evening and start talking with her.
I go through my whole demo of the books and she's smilling and laughing and her kids were a freaking blast to show the books to. They loved the books so much and were asking a million questions about the contents of the books. At the end the mom told me she just simply couldn't afford it because her husband had just passed away. Wow. Boom it hits you doesn't it? Normally in this situation if someone really likes the books you try to "re-close" them. I didn't. There are very few times when I stop being persistent as a salesperson but this type of situation calls for it. I expressed my sympathy and began to pack up my things but then the mom started asking me about what I was going to do. I told her probably sales or who knows, and she suggested that I become a teacher. I smiled and asked her why and she told me that I was really good with kids and all that stuff, but then she said something that was totally out of the ordinary response. She told me that I could really impact a lot of people and get through to some kids that might really need some help.
Her words stayed in my right ear for the rest of the summer and even to this day. Well some other things have happened pretty much all today where I've given education a second chance. At church tonight, one of the teachers told me to apply to substitute teach for the kindergarten or first graders. I laughed and immediately brushed it off, but she said the same similar thing about being good with kids because I used to watch the nursery instead of going to church (I know terrible right? It was my excuse when I was younger of how to get out of listening to the sermon).
Here's the last part that really makes me think. My last post mentioned working for the Navy. I took this Navy Ops test and it basically told me that I was in the persuader category. (Totally not me right? haha) Under this several different positions, but Religion and Education came up as the top two. I have this underlying fear that I will some day be called into the ministry so that kind of freaked me out. When I saw education I immediately started scrolling down to see what else it recommended for me. So at this point, who knows? Everyone has an idea of what I should do or what I would be good at, and maybe they're right. Maybe I should be a teacher? All of this to say I had teaching ruled out, but it's creeping back into my options. Pray for me. I'm gonna need it.
When you think about what you want to be like when you grow up it seems so distant. "One day" or "later" seemed to drive the thoughts right out of my head. Well that day is now and I've really tried to do a lot of brainstorming as to what I would like to do in like 5 years, or heck even 5 days. Over the summer I met a lot of cool families and most of them asked if I was going to school to be a teacher because I was selling educational books. Usually my reply involved some form of "no" and a quick explanation as to what exactly a communications major was.
I did meet this one mom however that keeps plaguing my mind. This is kind of sad so prepare yourself accordingly. Abby, if you're reading this, you might want to grab some tissues. It's terrible but I don't even remember her name or her two little girls' names. I can remember exactly what her house looked like and where it was, but for the life of me I can't remember her name. Anyway, I knocked on this door and an older woman came to the door. I went through my usual approach of figuring out if she was a grandmother or just baby-sitting. Turns out she was simply watching the kids, but she told me to come back after five to catch the mom. Now this happens quite frequently and it's a great thing because that means that the mom works. Working means she cares about herself and her children enough to make some money, which in then tells us that she would be a cool mom to talk to. So I go back later that evening and start talking with her.
I go through my whole demo of the books and she's smilling and laughing and her kids were a freaking blast to show the books to. They loved the books so much and were asking a million questions about the contents of the books. At the end the mom told me she just simply couldn't afford it because her husband had just passed away. Wow. Boom it hits you doesn't it? Normally in this situation if someone really likes the books you try to "re-close" them. I didn't. There are very few times when I stop being persistent as a salesperson but this type of situation calls for it. I expressed my sympathy and began to pack up my things but then the mom started asking me about what I was going to do. I told her probably sales or who knows, and she suggested that I become a teacher. I smiled and asked her why and she told me that I was really good with kids and all that stuff, but then she said something that was totally out of the ordinary response. She told me that I could really impact a lot of people and get through to some kids that might really need some help.
Her words stayed in my right ear for the rest of the summer and even to this day. Well some other things have happened pretty much all today where I've given education a second chance. At church tonight, one of the teachers told me to apply to substitute teach for the kindergarten or first graders. I laughed and immediately brushed it off, but she said the same similar thing about being good with kids because I used to watch the nursery instead of going to church (I know terrible right? It was my excuse when I was younger of how to get out of listening to the sermon).
Here's the last part that really makes me think. My last post mentioned working for the Navy. I took this Navy Ops test and it basically told me that I was in the persuader category. (Totally not me right? haha) Under this several different positions, but Religion and Education came up as the top two. I have this underlying fear that I will some day be called into the ministry so that kind of freaked me out. When I saw education I immediately started scrolling down to see what else it recommended for me. So at this point, who knows? Everyone has an idea of what I should do or what I would be good at, and maybe they're right. Maybe I should be a teacher? All of this to say I had teaching ruled out, but it's creeping back into my options. Pray for me. I'm gonna need it.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Feel like you accidentally went to Twitter?
Haha, so yes, the colors are the same, but you are not, in fact, on Twitter. Man it's been a while. After the summer my life has felt like a slow motion Whoosh.
A few updates:
- My car is getting fixed and will be done in about two weeks. (Then I'll go see my LEX friends.)
- I have to take the ASTB (Aviation Selection Test Battery) to start the process of entering the Navy.
- I have not committed to joining the Navy, Air Force, or anything I'm just keeping my options open.
- I am not at all worried about what the next few months look like. I'm excited actually.
That's all I can think to put on that list for now. Being at home is not so bad this time because I know that I'm free to go where ever I want whenever I want. I do not anticipate staying here that much longer. Hopefully, I'll be working the World Equestrian games with Tyler as an intern, but we'll see. If not, Paul Niswander said he could get me some other job. Depending on if I get the job with Alltech, I would like to go to Europe. Germany, Italy and possibly Spain are on my list so far. I am also waiting on a friend to pull through getting me a buddy pass ticket so I don't have to pay as much. All of these plans are up in the air and I would not be upset if all of them fell through because I know that these next few months are all about exploring and I have enough money to last me through them so...who cares? :).
I just realized that every time I write a blog I try to have some form of pattern or organization, but it always just ends up in short paragraphs of random information. To go with that, Read, A Long Way Gone it's really good, but also graphic (very,vivid violence) so beware.
Oh one more thing. I found a new dream destination. Maldives. It's sooo sick. Check out these pictures of it.
A few updates:
- My car is getting fixed and will be done in about two weeks. (Then I'll go see my LEX friends.)
- I have to take the ASTB (Aviation Selection Test Battery) to start the process of entering the Navy.
- I have not committed to joining the Navy, Air Force, or anything I'm just keeping my options open.
- I am not at all worried about what the next few months look like. I'm excited actually.
That's all I can think to put on that list for now. Being at home is not so bad this time because I know that I'm free to go where ever I want whenever I want. I do not anticipate staying here that much longer. Hopefully, I'll be working the World Equestrian games with Tyler as an intern, but we'll see. If not, Paul Niswander said he could get me some other job. Depending on if I get the job with Alltech, I would like to go to Europe. Germany, Italy and possibly Spain are on my list so far. I am also waiting on a friend to pull through getting me a buddy pass ticket so I don't have to pay as much. All of these plans are up in the air and I would not be upset if all of them fell through because I know that these next few months are all about exploring and I have enough money to last me through them so...who cares? :).
I just realized that every time I write a blog I try to have some form of pattern or organization, but it always just ends up in short paragraphs of random information. To go with that, Read, A Long Way Gone it's really good, but also graphic (very,vivid violence) so beware.
Oh one more thing. I found a new dream destination. Maldives. It's sooo sick. Check out these pictures of it.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Who's Next?
Well here I am in Nashville, TN. This is an incredible feeling. I arrived here and got all my paperwork done the weekend before I came. Checkout (a process that normally takes about 2 full days) took me about 2 hours and I had my check before 12:00. Now I am just free to hang out with whoever I want and just talk about what I plan on doing next.
To be honest it's the point in my life where I need to start creating long term goals. The problem is that I still have no clue which direction I want to be in. I was talking with a career counselor here at Southwestern and he asked me what type of goals I did have. The first one was that I want to make six figures. He immediately why I chose six figures. I told him I didn't really have a reason other than the fact that I did not want to ever allow finances to hold me back. We talked about more job opportunities and where I should put in my resumé, but after I left he really sparked my thinking. Why do I only want six figures? Why not more? Then I realized that the real reason I wanted that money was not for the actual dollars but more for the idea of security. Which leads me to another rabbit trail of thinking.
When you are in the middle of something be it school, a job, relationship, whatever it is, your mind can play so many tricks on you. Your perspective can get lost and you can twist the reality of your circumstances to allow yourself to be smothered in self-pity or just plain selfishness. Obviously what I'm talking about is the blogging that has occurred over the past three months. If someone read this blog I would be ashamed of myself because of all the difficulties I brought up. The truth is the job is hard, but not to the extent that I made it out to be. There are so many words I would like to say about Southwestern and it's a very tough decision of leaving or trying to corporate recruit full time. There are ups and downs to any decision that I will make. I know that whatever I choose I can be successful and enjoy it, the problem is committing to one of those paths. I wouldn't trade anything for the experience, knowledge, and friends I have gained over the last three summers. It feels like I get 5 years of hardships slammed into 12 weeks so I get to grow faster. It's an awesome experience and I will be sad to leave the bookfield.
There are more ideas I would like to convey but at the moment I think it is all still processing. I'll get back to this later.
To be honest it's the point in my life where I need to start creating long term goals. The problem is that I still have no clue which direction I want to be in. I was talking with a career counselor here at Southwestern and he asked me what type of goals I did have. The first one was that I want to make six figures. He immediately why I chose six figures. I told him I didn't really have a reason other than the fact that I did not want to ever allow finances to hold me back. We talked about more job opportunities and where I should put in my resumé, but after I left he really sparked my thinking. Why do I only want six figures? Why not more? Then I realized that the real reason I wanted that money was not for the actual dollars but more for the idea of security. Which leads me to another rabbit trail of thinking.
When you are in the middle of something be it school, a job, relationship, whatever it is, your mind can play so many tricks on you. Your perspective can get lost and you can twist the reality of your circumstances to allow yourself to be smothered in self-pity or just plain selfishness. Obviously what I'm talking about is the blogging that has occurred over the past three months. If someone read this blog I would be ashamed of myself because of all the difficulties I brought up. The truth is the job is hard, but not to the extent that I made it out to be. There are so many words I would like to say about Southwestern and it's a very tough decision of leaving or trying to corporate recruit full time. There are ups and downs to any decision that I will make. I know that whatever I choose I can be successful and enjoy it, the problem is committing to one of those paths. I wouldn't trade anything for the experience, knowledge, and friends I have gained over the last three summers. It feels like I get 5 years of hardships slammed into 12 weeks so I get to grow faster. It's an awesome experience and I will be sad to leave the bookfield.
There are more ideas I would like to convey but at the moment I think it is all still processing. I'll get back to this later.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Adventures
Well this week was like a sandwich. I had a good Monday and a good Saturday, but the middle was slow. I also got into a hit and run accident. I was cruising a bout 45 mph along the main road in Portsmouth. A guy was in the left turn lane on the opposite side of the street. He made his turn right as I went across the intersection and bumped me. I swerved out of the way kind of, but he still tagged my rear door and tire. I pulled over to the side of the road and he turned down the road to the left and then took off! I jumped out of my car to try to track him down to get his plates, but he was already long gone. Luckily I have collision insurance and they will fix it after the summer. The car is still driveable and the door closes fairly well, but it just looks really crappy.
Besides that everything is good. I can't wait to finish strong, do my deliveries and get on with the next phase of life. So many options have opened up and I am ready to pursue some of them.
Besides that everything is good. I can't wait to finish strong, do my deliveries and get on with the next phase of life. So many options have opened up and I am ready to pursue some of them.
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