I'm back, I'm motivated, and I'm going to fail

The title pretty much explains how I feel. 2008 is gone, I keep thinking 2010 (my graduation year) is forever away, but in truth it's not. In fact, it's only one year away. AHHHHH. haha. After selling books this summer, I've had to try to figure out what I will do this next summer. Should I go back to the suburban neighborhood doors or venture back to the Carolina mountains. Or should I take a completely new direction.

Well one thing I've discovered in the past couple of years is that I start something, love it at first, then decide I don't like it and move on. I find that I need to change this habit. What if I decided to do this with a friend, or a loved one. In fact at times I feel myself having thoughts of tiredness of friendship. What a stupid thing to do! I feel that the book field, though I loathe it with a deep passion, will be the best thing for me. It is all about doing things I do not want to do and be successful at it. By sticking with it, I can train myself to accept my situation and enjoy whatever I do. That is my ultimate goal. If I can have fun and learn from selling books door to door, than I can have the confidence to succeed anywhere. Now you might be asking yourself how in the world I talked myself back into this. Well I began to pray about this off and on since about October. Wait, let me back up.

After august, I was ready to jump back out there and sell sell sell. Then about a month later, I realized how awful and hard the book field was. I thought to myself...why in the world would I want to do that again. I struggled a great amount with my decision. So I prayed (props to my mom for the suggestion). About 3 weeks ago my dad called me and we were talking about something. Then he said in an excited voice, "Oh! I've got an interesting story about your Southwestern Books!" He went on to explain that he was looking up atom structures and found one that did not make sense. He went online looked through all kinds of journals, all of his books and could not find the answer he was looking for. He told me that he randomly grabbed one of the learning company books and found exactly what he was looking for. He found a diagram that proved the structure he was looking at before was a misprint. How crazy is that?

Well I got my answer to my prayer, but did NOT want to accept it. Typical huh?
So now I'm using God as my motivation (what I should have been doing all along). The final part of my title is something that will help me accept the challenges I will face this semester. I will fail, and if I know that, it takes the fear out of so many situations. I know that my classes will be hard and that I will get wrong answers. I know that girls will say no when I ask them out. The thing I have to keep up with is that God still is looking out for me and is right there to push me through the difficult times. I want to meet those challenges head on. I want to become stronger in so many areas of my life. I hope you enjoyed this blog, I am simply sitting at home alone listening to my iPod and it has been awesome to just put my motivation down in words. I will be back to write more...have no fear.