Work, school, and other things

So I started working at a Japanese steakhouse.  It's amazing!! it's called Asuka and I love it.  The people there are actually all Chinese which is funny.  I wait tables...sorry i don't do the hibachi grill.  

School is starting to get hectic with all of the mid terms and what not.  I also haven't written a blog in forever.  There are so many things I want to write about but can't because I do'nt really know who reads and does not read this blog anymore.  I have so many stories and things on my mind which include poor choices, changes in my life, and all kinds of stuff.  I just simply don't want to post them on here for the world to see.  It's strange, because this started out as a private journal and now it's more of an abandoned building.  It has the potential to be useful, but also the potential for exploitation.  Pray for me.  Pray that I have discernment in life and that I remain focused and motivated.  Thanks.

Catching up

I feel like I should apologize for not writing, but I never promised anyone i would.  Anyway that may sound a bit harsh.  I was just trying to rationalize in my own mind whether or not it would be appropriate to apologize.  

Getting back to what I wanted to write about...I've had a lot on my mind recently.  There have been so many opportunities, situations, consequences, and new ideals that I have experienced.  Since working with Southwestern I have these goals and these plans to reach those goals, but it seems like I'm just not motivated and running like I did during the summer.  Granted part of that is the obligation to friends, school, intramurals and etc, not just selling books.  

One thing in particular that has bugged me this whole year is this relationship concept.  It's as if I want to date, but at the same time like being single.  Really I think what it boils down to is having someone right next to you at all times that loves to be around you, while at the same time, I enjoy being around them.  That should be my significant other who I would like to have now, but also enjoy my other friends' company.  I'm looking into it in a way that chooses one or the other instead of combining the two.  There has been one person who I would love to date...I think.  Exactly.  My confusion is just out of the roof.  I want to date this person, but really know very little about her.  We talk some, but not too much.  She's shy.  I don't know if she's shy around me because she doesn't like me or if she does.  It's so strange.  I've never had like a one on one personal conversation.  Nothing where I truly got to get to know her character.  It's always just like simple surface things. 

The more I think about it the more I just want to get to know her.  However, when I get around her in person, my conversation skills just diminish.  I can't keep it going.  I also feel that if I can't keep conversations with her then how can I feel that the relationship will be worthwhile.  That may sound weird but here's my thinking.  I don't want to date someone that I can't just carry a regular conversation with.  I want to get to know her, but how do I get the time in her and my schedule to do that.  It's all kind of crazy.  Things have been going better as far as interactions and talking, but I just want it to keep going.  I want to get to know her and to find a way to make sure that I should or should not date her.  crazy i know.  i gotta work on a paper.  peace

Back to real life

Sorry guys, I know it's been forever.  A lot has happened.  I could write about so many things but there is one main thing on my mind.  I worked with a girl named Amber during the summer.  Well on Thursday she was checking out after a looong summer in NY.  The checkout was in Nashville, and from there she was going to go down to Destin with some other people from the company.  She headed out and was around the Birmingham area.  She and two other girls got into a pretty bad car wreck.  The other two girls turned out with a couple minor injuries, but Amber suffered major head trauma.  They told me last night that the only thing sustaining her pulse was some medication.  If she didn't have the medication it would be over.  So last night all of her friends and family had to say goodbye to her.  

That really opened my eyes because of how close in age she was.  This is the first time that a friend of mine, who was about my age passed away.  It's mind blowing.  We always said to work each day as if it was our last.  To give 100% everyday and to never give up.  Now it's strange that these things can happen to anyone.  It's been tough for me to think about her family and friends from Southwestern that really cared about her.  I can't imagine talking to her in the morning and then realizing that it would be the last time.  

If you would, just keep her family and everyone who knew her in your prayers.  She was an awesome girl and always so encouraging.  

Week 11

7-29

 

So today I had a zero day, but tomorrow is a new day.  I came home and there were two cops in our driveway.  I came in and Simba and Austin told me to say a prayer because Matt was being arrested in our driveway.  I didn’t believe them but they were being totally serious.  It’s been an interesting week, but I really need to kick it in gear tomorrow.  I want to finish strong and really be able to say I worked my hardest this last week.  I want to carry this momentum into my school year.  All I have to do is work hard and not worry about sales.  That is when I’ll be most successful. 

 

7-30

 

Well today I think I figured a part of my not success out.  I took a short break after my first goal period and just tried to figure out what I was doing wrong.  I started the day with 6 contacts, 3 sit downs and no sales.  Usually if I have 3 sits, someone buys.  So tomorrow I’m just going to work on being in the zone and really focusing on God.  My mom gave me the order of prayer so that will help keep me occupied throughout the day.  I really do want to finish strong.  There’s no reason why I should go back to Asbury with low momentum.  I want to finish strong and I want to know that I tried my hardest. 

 

7-31

 

I have a new routine.  I wrote down a prayer that basically says that I’m going to work my best because whatever I do today, I am exchanging a day of my life for it.  I did not work very hard to day, but I did make 2 sales and felt very good about the people I sat down with.  I have some good appointments for tomorrow and I feel confident that I will finish strong.  I essentially had 77 units today, but they were both weak.  If they come through that’s a big help to my check.  Tomorrow I have to make myself work hard all day, no thinking about home because I only have 2 days left of true selling.  It’s hard to believe and it’s hard to hold in the anticipation that I have for going home, but I need to really focus and not get distracted.  I need to not take breaks and be the very best that I can be so that I will feel good about the work and job that I have done this summer. 

 

8-1

 

Today was weird.  I had two customers, low units, and a pretty normal day work wise.  However, I had to get my books set up, and I also ripped my shorts while unloading the books so I had to buy new shorts.  It was hard to keep my head in the game and not think about going home.  Especially since I got my books in today.  I keep thinking about delivery week and not about selling books right now.  I think that’s why I didn’t have a very big day today.  I just need to really focus tomorrow and realize that it’s my last day.  So then I will be able to finish strong and feel good about my summer. 

 

8-2

 

Well Today was my last official selling day.  It was disappointing.  I had 42 contacts, 12 presentations and 0 units.  Yep that’s right.  I did work hard though.  I worked really hard, and I think that I was putting too much pressure on customers and that’s why they weren’t buying.  They could tell that I really wanted them to buy.  Next week is delivery week and then I’m going home.  It’s really tough to grasp that I’m almost done for the summer.  The crazy thing is, I have 1200 units which is 600 away from sizzler.  This week I could definitely hit sizzler because not only do I have to deliver my customers, I am delivering Chris and Jenny’s customers.  So there is a lot of potential out there for me.  I feel a little disappointed that I haven’t quite met my goal for the summer, but I feel that the things I learned have been the mostvaluable thing from the summer.  Because even though my summer may not look as good money wise, it’s still plenty of money.  Not to mention I completed my internship as a sophomore.  I like the Southwestern company and I am looking forward to next summer.  

Week 10

7-21

Monday, a work day. Today was kind of slow presentations wise and units wise, but it was a good work day. I’m going to map out a ton of territory tomorrow. I was trying too hard to think about presentations and customers during the day. Amber told me that I should think about customers only during morning and evening gravy. Now I’ve been told to think about customers during the day as bonus, but I still thought about having to have customers during the day. What it comes down to is that I should expect customers during gravy, and be thankful for anything God gives me during the day. I should work hard all day and then gravy will be good because I’ll be able to just roll with customers. I prayed today and had a pretty good burning desire, but I still didn’t work very smart. Tomorrow I need to keep it close and together. My territory is getting more and more spread out. I just need to find a neighborhood and work it tight. I cannot wait to meet some cool moms tomorrow.

7-22

I had a pretty big breakthrough today. I only sold 3 units. I had one customer for a my fun with words. It was kind of negative, but at the same time I wasn’t really here. I’m going through the contacts and everything, but not really trying to help families. I’m just being lazy and coasting through the last two weeks. So my mom suggested that I give everything that I make in these last two weeks back to God. I started this summer not needing the money and saying that I was doing this job to get my internship done. I’ve definitely done that so now I’m giving the money back. He’s given me plenty to go back to school with and now I just need to focus on doing the work for him to get in the top 100. It’s going to be an amazing week. I’m serving God all week.

7-23

Wow, I’m impressed that I’ve done my journals everyday, however, I’m not satisfied with my work ethic this week. I had a zero day today. I think God was showing me that I’ve been not being genuine with Him. Not to say that God is “teaching me a lesson.” I think it’s sometimes easy to write off our failures on God’s plan. Instead of taking blame. The past couple of days have been me thinking I’m working hard, but truly my mind is not here. In fact, it’s everywhere but here. I want to be back home, and back at school hanging out with friends. When I think about those things now, I’m wasting the opportunities that God has for me right here and now. It’s like wanting greener pastures. It just doesn’t make sense to always wish to be somewhere else. I take my time for granted so much. Everyday, every second I have truly is a gift. I have no purpose apart form God, but by being out here and talking with these families I become part of God’s plan for those people’s lives and my own. I really focus on being here with the people of Latham and really try to care about them. If I do that I’ll enjoy the last two weeks of my summer. Otherwise I’m going to go back with the pain of regret for my summer. I refuse to quit on that kind of a note. I will enjoy everyday that I’m out here.

7-24

I followed Cash for half the day today because I checked out yesterday. It really helped my to get my head back in the game. I just really need to focus on the here and now and not worry about what’s going on at home, or even with the other guys. All I need to think about is what God’s plan is for me tomorrow. If I do that and pursue his will, I know I will finish strong. I’m really enjoying my time that I get to spend with other people. Taking stat calls this week has been awesome. I genuinely like it. It’s easy for me to motivate myself to be positive when I’m around them, but not when I’m by myself. Which is a bit frustrating, but I’m slowly going to let God reveal to me how I can retain that motivation. I’m going to work hard tomorrow and just be happy and positive at every house.

7-25

Today I was out of control. I was so happy and positive. After breakfast, we were doing execs and I went absolutely crazy. We did a dance instead of doing the regular execs. My first goal period I was on fire. I didn’t have sales, but I was putting in the work. I got tons of pre-approach and I had 11 contacts with 5 sits. I was so pumped and just rolling. Tomorrow is going to be even crazier. I learned today just not to care about the negative people and to really care for the people that are interested. If they aren’t interested, move on. I’m going to work on doing more door demos and trying to close people at the door. I’m going to show anything and everything at the door. I have sooo many people to catch up with tomorrow. Today was just a fun day. Even though I only had 2 sales, it felt good just to know that I am good at this job. I sold to a woman who didn’t speak English very well. If I can sell to her, then I can sell to anyone.

7-27

Want to know the most frustrating part of this job? The disappointment at the end of a day knowing that you didn’t work your hardest and still had a decent day. I only had one customer today, but I had 24 units. Granted that’s not great, but that just shows how easy this job is. I did the work but didn’t try to get people really excited about the books and so I only had one customer. I need to really focus on getting them to talk to me and express some feelings of how the books will help them. Once I do that I’ll sell more books. Until then I’ll continue to have zero days. Which I had 2 of this week. I just thought about how I didn’t really want to work today, and therefore I didn’t make any money. I really need to get here this last week and make it my best week ever. That way I can really feel like my summer went well. I want to end on a positive note so Monday I’m going to go out there and just do it. But tomorrow is Sunday, which means that I don’t think about books. Good night.

Week 9

7-12

Well today wasn’t the best day ever, but it was a good training day. There was a competition to see who could have the quickest close, and so my first 2 goal periods I tried to close as quickly as possible. I sat down with 7 out of 10 people I saw. Which was cool except that I didn’t sell to any of them. Haha. Oh well. Nate came today! It was awesome. He stayed with us tonight so that we could enjoy his company. I honestly believe he likes us more than other groups, well at lease enjoys hanging out with us. He may like other people just as much, but he just really enjoys hanging out with us. It’s a good feeling. I also learned that he lives in Cincinnati and I’m going to go visit him in the fall. It’s going to be so positive. Another day with great lessons to learn. I need to learn to pick myself up and figure out a way to wake myself up. I’m starting to understand how to get more sit downs and I believe I can get my close percentage up. We’ll see though. I’m going to bed now because I’m freakin tired.

7-13

BEST WEEK OF THE SUMMER!!!

That’s right, I had 249 units this week!

As I said Nate stayed with us last night and we got to hang out a lot today. In fact I got to drive him to the airport today which meant that I got to have a one on one with him for about 2.5 hours. It was amazing. He’s just such a cool guy that everyone loves, and he genuinely loves them back. I learned a lot today and to be honest, I signed up to work next year. Greystone treated me well, but Southwestern is teaching me so much more. One day I might go back to camp, but for now, the pay and the lessons that I’m learning with Southwestern are just so awesome. Sorry that I haven’t been writing as much, it’s tough for me to remember, but I need to write these not only for my own records, but I have to write journals for the end of the summer for my internship. I really cannot describe how much I appreciate this company and the lifetime habits I’m learning. I just feel so ahead of my peers, not better, just better prepared. I have put myself in tough situations and overcome them. Nate shared an idea today that was really cool. He said, at the end of the summer we will face one of two outlooks. We will either look back and see that the disciplines were tough, but we made it through. The disciplines were only a short time, just during the summer. However, if we don’t give it our all now, then we’ll be faced with the feeling of regret, which lasts a lot longer than our tough times. That’s how life is, yeah it’s tough, but after you go through the tough times you gain so much.

7-14

Today was a weird day. I was totally not here. I didn’t get up when my alarm went off, and my day was just slow. I did start off the day well. My first goal period contained 4 contacts with 2 presentations and 2 customers, but that was the extent of my success for the day. Also, I had a customer a few weeks ago tell me she was going to send me an electronic check, but didn’t think she would. Turns out she sent me a nice $220 check today. So that was an extra 30 units for the day. POSITIVE!

Back to my attitude throughout the day. I could feel my attitude slipping and tried to bring it back, but just couldn’t. Tomorrow is a new day and 10 days from now I won’t even remember how many customers I had today. So I’m going to go out there and apply what I learned today to tomorrow. If I do that and truly try to learn from my mistakes I believe that I will be successful tomorrow. I need to take like 5 minutes after each goal period and really forget everything I just did. I think those 25 minutes throughout the day would really be worth it to me. I also need to walk more, because the less time spent in my car the better.

7 – 15

Well again today I was so lazy. I’ve got to snap out of it. I mean it’s stupid for me to spend my last 3 weeks as a bum. I need to be working extra hard and overtime these last weeks. I’m working now so that I don’t have to do anything in the fall. I want to have 10,000 by the end of the summer so that I can take my friends out to eat. I will not be lazy tomorrow. I will get 30 contacts and 15 presentations. I’m committed to that goal tomorrow and the rest of my days here. I will do everything in my power to find people that are home and show them my books. Simba told me that these last three weeks are how I will remember my summer. I want to have good momentum going into the school year as well. I don’t want to have any regrets, and to do that I’ve going to suffer or work through difficulties here and now.

7-16

I finally think I have it. The past couple of days have been just like a Chinese finger trap. Coming off of last week I felt so confident that I could really explode this week. I still can, but not on my own. You see, I’ve been so focused on what “I” did last week that I forgot why I did so well last week. I gave my entire week last week, $1245 to charity. Think about that for a second, 25% of what I’ve made all summer, I gave away…This week I’m sucking because I’m trying to control everything and do things on my own. This job is so basic and simple. All I have to do is knock on doors and talk with the families, saying a sales talk I’ve said all summer. The key to all that is my motive. Instead of being out for money and myself, I need to actually try to help the people and let God reign over every second of my day. It seems like all my success comes and then flees because I try to take the credit for it. God has to keep reminding me of his power. It’s amazing really to think that he keeps trying to help me, but I keep refusing. You would think that I would learn. Haha. Ok now I need to sleep.

7-17

I was right last night. I needed to truly trust and rely on God. I genuinely gave my day and myself to God today. I prayed that God would not let people see me at their door, but rather to see God through me at every door. He confirmed He was working by giving me an early sit-down sale first thing in the morning. The mom’s name was Maria. She immediately was excited to see me and was just a joy to be around. At the end of the presentation I always ask, so what did you like best about the books. She looked right at me and said, “Honestly, it was you. Your manners and not being pushy really made me want to get the books.” I was totally shocked and amazed. God showed me himself through Maria. It was as if he said, “Hey, I’m still here. Don’t forget about me!” I’m not trying to boast or sound arrogant, but instead to show how God works and really shows up in our lives. That one sit down pumped me up for the whole day and honestly the whole summer. I honestly don’t care if I don’t make another sale the whole summer. Seeing God work today was just utterly amazing. Tomorrow I’m going to focus on the same things, keeping God first and relying on him to give me everything I need from strength to stamina to sit-downs, to sales. He’s going to be in control of everything. No matter what. The only thing I can control is my attitude, and to be honest, I still need God’s help with that.

7-18

Today was tough. I really struggled towards the end of the day. I sort of stopped talking out loud and made a lot of stops. For example, early this morning I had to go get a check that was post dated. I also had 2 sales during the first two goal periods. I just need to keep letting God take control. I don’t really feel like writing anymore. I just need to work hard tomorrow.

7-19

Again today was a tough day. What I realized was that truly, one day does not make or break my summer. I mean I made 1/5 of my whole check in this week. $1000, and I had 2 bad days! That’s crazy. If I just turn my attitude around and only focus on things that are pure, true, and positive, then there’s no reason why I can’t reach my goals for the summer. I want to win. I want to succeed. I want to go back and have finished strong. I don’t want to face my friends and tell them that I barely made enough to cover my expenses. I want to truly be able to show that I can be successful no matter what my situation. Although I was extremely frustrated with my day, I still had a sale. God showed me today that this day, in the long run just helps me to learn and build character. Sometimes I become so caught up in sitting down or getting contacts that I really forget why I’m here. I’m here to help people by showing them helpful educational products. This next week I am going to hit Mort. I want to show the guys here that I’m not just an average first year. I’m going to work hard and be me.

Sorry week 7, oops. Here's week 8

6-29

Today I learned that I need to just tell people no. I need to make time for myself on Sundays. I need to make Sundays what I need them to be. There should be as much God time as possible. I let all the little things build up on me and cause me to make everyone around me feel drained. It was definitely not a positive day. After having a long venting talk with Travis I feel that I’ve relieve the pressure and I’m ready for tomorrow. Right now it’s almost 12 and I’m preparing myself to go out and put in my absolute best in order to let God take care of the rest. I’m in control of my attitude and schedule. That’s it.

7-7

Ah the joys of a new week. This past weekend I actually went over my internship papers and found that I had some papers to turn in during the middle of my internship. Thank goodness I found them. It may affect my grade a little bit, but it will be alright. So about today. I had 26 contacts and only 7 presentations. This was disappointing because last week I had 11 or more everyday! However, I did try a new map cycle which involved working new territory until 7:30 and then going back to houses. That way each day I’m a day ahead on my gravy. It was a great idea and I can see how it is really going to help me build momentum this week. This week I’m going to give everything I make back to the lord. It’s going to be awesome because I’m going to make a ton of money this week. All in order to give it back to him. I know I don’t deserve this money, opportunity, etc, and my mom suggested that I just dedicate all my earnings of this week to the lord. So I may double my summer, but half of it will go to the lord. I cannot wait until tomorrow, I kept a fairly good positive mental attitude today, but tomorrow will be even better!

7-8

Interesting that today would be one of my worst days. I had 35 contacts, however only 6 presentations. I had one small sale, it was a college prep pack. I really think that I psyched myself out. I need to just relax and remember that it’s not what I say at first, but how I say it. Once I establish some rapport with the families then it matters what I say. Today was a learning that was not totally unsuccessful, but no where near where I should be. Tomorrow I’ve got to keep my positive attitude and really try to work my absolute dead level best. My approach just has to be relaxed instead of feeling like I’m pressuring them into sitting down with me. It should just be automatic. I learned that Jay Williams sat down with everyone he contacted today. That’s pretty awesome in my book.

7-9

Today was an awesome day. It would have been my best day of the summer if I could have had one more customer or made my weak customer a strong customer. Tomorrow will be even better. I’ve got to keep my focus on being service minded and actually trying to help people. I learned today that I really just have to make myself be positive in order to make other people positive. If I control myself and learn to deal with situations, then God will handle the rest. He sees my efforts and knows what I need at every moment. God sometimes puts us through tough times in order for us to reach big rewards. No matter how bad a day is, God always puts something positive in there for us. We just have to look for it. The bad days we have are only because we refuse God’s blessings. That’s free will, that’s the idea of being able control our own attitudes towards God and his blessings. Everyday from now on should be me thanking him for every detail of my life. Ultimately without him I serve no purpose in this life, and I am living a useless life. By confiding in him I can truly be happy and make a difference. I talked with Tiny tonight, he’s basically the handyman around here, and it was very interesting. He’s a character anyway, but he’s so smart. His knowledge of history and his philosophical views of life are really quite amazing. He inspires me to want to become more of a thinker and reader than I am now. I want to become intelligent and be able to create new ideas from known knowledge.

7-10

BEST DAY OF THE SUMMER!!!

That’s right, today rocked. Even though I didn’t have the most sit downs or contacts, I had 77 units. 5 strong customers! It was amazing. The crazy thing is that if I had sold annuals, I would have had over 100 units today alone. I am going to finish strong. My main focus today was that I just prayed for everyone and everything. I prayed for each house that I left and each family that God would help them or just be with them. It’s the 8^th week, which is also mind blowing. I only have about 4 weeks before my summer will be over. It’s flying by and I need to really focus in these last few weeks in order to serve God and truly finish with a good experience. There’s still so much to learn, but the biggest thing about today was that God controls everything. Even when things seem tough, He’s only preparing us for a greater prize.

7-11

Well I didn’t try hard enough today to get my second best day. Tomorrow however, will be by far the best day of my summer. There is no doubt in my mind. Today’s biggest struggle was waking up during the day. I got really tired from 3-5. I also was a little cranky at some doors because of the tiredness. So tomorrow I’m going to get myself pumped up especially early. I’ve got so many people to see that my morning gravy alone will prove to beat my previous day. I will also have my best week this week if I just go out and have some fun tomorrow. I really want to be sure to leave everyone in a good mood if possible. I also need to pray more. The more I pray the more my mind is focused on others and less on myself and my needs. I cannot describe how many people I have to see tomorrow. It is going to be unreal.