iPod post

I just realized that I can blog from my iPod touch. I love everything about apple products. They are so useful and efficient. Now on to real business. I love finding people that you can feel comfortable around. Believe it or not in the past two or three weeks I have an awesome group of people. I didn't really plan or try to make it happen but I m so glad in did. The real reason i'm writing this blog is to be thankful and to use my iPod ha ha j/k. In my last blog I talked about enjoying the spontaneity of life. The times when you feel so happy and really forget about the 20 pages you should be writing. Instead you get to rePly get to know somone or maybe a lot of someones. The sad part is that it will end. Summer is coming so quickly and I want to spend as much time with all my friends as possible. I k ow we'll be back next semester,but I don't want to wait that long. When I get to hang out and talk about future wives or cars or the way we want to live it excites me. It makes me look forward to life and the things to come. The relationships that God has then me this semester make me want to never grow up and for us to get stuck in a time space contiuum. I don't know if I spelled that right but who cares. I'm trying to be deep right now. All I really want to do is say thanks to the people in my life right now that are bringing so much joy and woo hoo to me. That is all.

Assignment Avalanche/Stars

I found out that Microsoft Word now allows you to write something, then publish it on your blog. So I'm trying it out now. I hope that it doesn't seem clichéd or sappy, but more of a reminder. I'll be back soon. Seriously this time.

AHHHH. April is fleeting and now all my huge projects are due. It is a bit stressful to have procrastinated this much, but it's my own fault right? I love waiting until the last minute and then cranking out a sweet project. I complain the whole way through but really, I love the intensity it requires. About a week ago, Prof. Kerr's class taught me so much. He teaches Narratives and Ideologies of Hollywood. We were discussing the movie Meet Joe Black and talking about existentialism and what life is really about.

One of my good friends Tyler came up with a great answer. He said that we need to encounter real love with God. It was what everyone wanted to say, but didn't want to be cheesy or sappy. He said it in such a way that it just made sense and made me want to love. When he first said the word love, I couldn't help but think, "Man that word is awkward and I have trouble saying that." Immediately I wanted to change. I wanted to be able to be comfortable with love. It seems to be a recurring lesson God wants to teach me, but I just don't feel ready for it yet.

Another cool lesson Prof. Kerr talked about was enjoying life. That's a bit more simple than his explanation, but here goes, I'll try to paraphrase. He basically said that when we are in school or grown up and working, we need to take time to enjoy the moments of stillness or relaxation. He said that as he gets older he realizes that many people want to have that serenity and really remember the moments when they did. He encouraged us to do our schoolwork and to work hard at our jobs, while also remembering to soak in those times of simple happiness. One example he used was looking at the stars. He gave the classic scenario of studying for a test or looking at the stars with your friends. Instead of studying, he told us to spend more time with the stars than with our studies. I found that very interesting and have since tried to spend enough time on studies, but more so on the quality time in life. So I guess what I want to do is relay the message that we have permission to work hard and pause life to enjoy those hang out times with your friends. Don't forget that people won't really care about your grades once they really know you. All of these scales and measurements of success don't have to mean anything. Just love, and do that by getting into your relationship with God and then the rest will come from it.

Update

Yo dog! Well I know it's been a long time again, but hey I didn't make any promises did I? All right so for this Lenten season I've given up Facebook. Dun Dun Dun...Actually it's been great so far. I feel like I have more time, and the only time I get on my computer is to check my email or open a word document for homework. Blogging will probably pick up too now that I'm not on the Fbook.

My Southwestern team is coming along nicely. I have one signed up already. His name is Matt Poole. I talked with a lot of other people so far, but no one else has signed up. Last night I got to hang out with Nate, my sales manager, and a good friend Jake. We went bowling, and out to eat at Red Robin. It was a blast being around such fun, genuine people. Both of them are just hysterical and them together is an even funnier combo.

I had an awesome idea I was going to blog about and now, it has vanished from my mind. So until next time...Adios!

Delayed Gratification

So I just got back from GRS (the Great Recruiters seminar) for Southwestern. It was in Nashville at the renaissance hotel. It was an amazingggg weekend. I had a lot of fun, learned a lot, and met a ton of new people. I'm really starting to get excited about selling books. Well more so the experience and the things that I know I will learn from the summer. After going through a summer like that I was introduced to a lot of good habits, but I feel like none of them really stuck with me. I am hoping that this next summer will open more doors and allow me to let these habits become a part of my life.

Now to explain the title:
One of the talks was about how we need to work and wait for something good. I have started reading my Bible (well let's be honest trying to), everyday and really get something out of it. Today I read Genesis 29:14-30. It talked about Jacob working SEVEN years with the hope of marrying Rachel, and then got tricked and slept with the wrong woman! That's as many legs as this sheep has! Haha, it was the first picture that came up when I typed the word seven into Google.
He then agreed to seven MORE years just to keep her. That's some freaking delayed gratification. I want to be the type of person that doesn't buy into every advertisement telling me I need new clothes, new car, or other perishable things. I want to be able to have self control and have patience. A foot note in my Bible says, "Patience is hardest when we need it the most, but it is the key to achieving our goals." That pretty much sums up what Southwestern is doing for me. At times I dreamed of getting in a car wreck just so I wouldn't have to go to that next door, but I should have just keep persevering and moved on to the next possible family. I don't really know if I explained the title too well, but I think you understand my thought process.

A couple more things that are exciting. I'm planning on running a half marathon in Lousiville in April. I have to start training now, but I feel like it will be an awesome goal to work towards. Also, I'm slowly starting to get into more reading. A friend of mine suggested the book, "Blink" by Malcolm Gladwell. He also wrote the book "Tipping Point" and "Outliers."

I'm back, I'm motivated, and I'm going to fail

The title pretty much explains how I feel. 2008 is gone, I keep thinking 2010 (my graduation year) is forever away, but in truth it's not. In fact, it's only one year away. AHHHHH. haha. After selling books this summer, I've had to try to figure out what I will do this next summer. Should I go back to the suburban neighborhood doors or venture back to the Carolina mountains. Or should I take a completely new direction.

Well one thing I've discovered in the past couple of years is that I start something, love it at first, then decide I don't like it and move on. I find that I need to change this habit. What if I decided to do this with a friend, or a loved one. In fact at times I feel myself having thoughts of tiredness of friendship. What a stupid thing to do! I feel that the book field, though I loathe it with a deep passion, will be the best thing for me. It is all about doing things I do not want to do and be successful at it. By sticking with it, I can train myself to accept my situation and enjoy whatever I do. That is my ultimate goal. If I can have fun and learn from selling books door to door, than I can have the confidence to succeed anywhere. Now you might be asking yourself how in the world I talked myself back into this. Well I began to pray about this off and on since about October. Wait, let me back up.

After august, I was ready to jump back out there and sell sell sell. Then about a month later, I realized how awful and hard the book field was. I thought to myself...why in the world would I want to do that again. I struggled a great amount with my decision. So I prayed (props to my mom for the suggestion). About 3 weeks ago my dad called me and we were talking about something. Then he said in an excited voice, "Oh! I've got an interesting story about your Southwestern Books!" He went on to explain that he was looking up atom structures and found one that did not make sense. He went online looked through all kinds of journals, all of his books and could not find the answer he was looking for. He told me that he randomly grabbed one of the learning company books and found exactly what he was looking for. He found a diagram that proved the structure he was looking at before was a misprint. How crazy is that?

Well I got my answer to my prayer, but did NOT want to accept it. Typical huh?
So now I'm using God as my motivation (what I should have been doing all along). The final part of my title is something that will help me accept the challenges I will face this semester. I will fail, and if I know that, it takes the fear out of so many situations. I know that my classes will be hard and that I will get wrong answers. I know that girls will say no when I ask them out. The thing I have to keep up with is that God still is looking out for me and is right there to push me through the difficult times. I want to meet those challenges head on. I want to become stronger in so many areas of my life. I hope you enjoyed this blog, I am simply sitting at home alone listening to my iPod and it has been awesome to just put my motivation down in words. I will be back to write more...have no fear.

Work, school, and other things

So I started working at a Japanese steakhouse.  It's amazing!! it's called Asuka and I love it.  The people there are actually all Chinese which is funny.  I wait tables...sorry i don't do the hibachi grill.  

School is starting to get hectic with all of the mid terms and what not.  I also haven't written a blog in forever.  There are so many things I want to write about but can't because I do'nt really know who reads and does not read this blog anymore.  I have so many stories and things on my mind which include poor choices, changes in my life, and all kinds of stuff.  I just simply don't want to post them on here for the world to see.  It's strange, because this started out as a private journal and now it's more of an abandoned building.  It has the potential to be useful, but also the potential for exploitation.  Pray for me.  Pray that I have discernment in life and that I remain focused and motivated.  Thanks.

Catching up

I feel like I should apologize for not writing, but I never promised anyone i would.  Anyway that may sound a bit harsh.  I was just trying to rationalize in my own mind whether or not it would be appropriate to apologize.  

Getting back to what I wanted to write about...I've had a lot on my mind recently.  There have been so many opportunities, situations, consequences, and new ideals that I have experienced.  Since working with Southwestern I have these goals and these plans to reach those goals, but it seems like I'm just not motivated and running like I did during the summer.  Granted part of that is the obligation to friends, school, intramurals and etc, not just selling books.  

One thing in particular that has bugged me this whole year is this relationship concept.  It's as if I want to date, but at the same time like being single.  Really I think what it boils down to is having someone right next to you at all times that loves to be around you, while at the same time, I enjoy being around them.  That should be my significant other who I would like to have now, but also enjoy my other friends' company.  I'm looking into it in a way that chooses one or the other instead of combining the two.  There has been one person who I would love to date...I think.  Exactly.  My confusion is just out of the roof.  I want to date this person, but really know very little about her.  We talk some, but not too much.  She's shy.  I don't know if she's shy around me because she doesn't like me or if she does.  It's so strange.  I've never had like a one on one personal conversation.  Nothing where I truly got to get to know her character.  It's always just like simple surface things. 

The more I think about it the more I just want to get to know her.  However, when I get around her in person, my conversation skills just diminish.  I can't keep it going.  I also feel that if I can't keep conversations with her then how can I feel that the relationship will be worthwhile.  That may sound weird but here's my thinking.  I don't want to date someone that I can't just carry a regular conversation with.  I want to get to know her, but how do I get the time in her and my schedule to do that.  It's all kind of crazy.  Things have been going better as far as interactions and talking, but I just want it to keep going.  I want to get to know her and to find a way to make sure that I should or should not date her.  crazy i know.  i gotta work on a paper.  peace