If you couldn't figure it out, I never edit my blogs.

Alright so I was sitting somewhere in the seminary tonight reading "Building the Bridge as You Walk on It." It was a great book and a great time. I had so many thoughts about what I wanted to blog about but now I can't really think of them. It's kind of a bummer, but I wanted to just write anyway. I'm not sure what about or why, I just feel like it. I guess reading that book really inspired me to try to get my life back on track. This whole semester, I have been trying to put the principles I learned from the summer into my life here. This task becomes difficult because I am under different circumstances and a totally different schedule for sure. It's tough to be motivated and want to work hard when you know that you really can have a ton of fun. That's when I decided that I was going to have no matter what I do this year. It just kind of struck me that I'll have the rest of my life to work and to be serious if I want to be. Right now is the time when I can get by with sitting around or going for a drive. I can play golf, frisbee, or just take pictures whenever I want. No other time in my life will I have this much freedom and so little responsibility. I'm going to soak it up. Every second will be commanded how it will be spent and I won't regret it. Sure bad things will happen and slow times will come, but if you know about and expect those things, then when they do occur, they aren't nearly as big as an unexpected turn. This probably isn't making sense to most of you because I'm falling asleep as I write.

There was one other thing I wanted to talk about. I just remembered it. The use of "I" in my blog appears so frequently. Part of me said, man I'm so vain when I blog. But the other part said, it's my blog about me, so why wouldn't it have a lot about me? Anyway, here we go. You always heaer about those people that just finally get it. They understand their calling or they break free of some oppression from their life. In the book I read tonight, a woman freed herself from an abusive relationship simply by giving herself the option of having worth and to choose not to be a victim anymore. It talked about how an abuser can have no power if there is no one to abuse. This idea parallels the concept of the existence to sin. Sin cannot thrive on its own because it is simply a perversion of good. Without good there can be no evil. Any way, it just made me think about having my moment. When will I know what i want from life. I mean really know. When will God choose to tell me my purpose and what really drives my life. Here's where the bragging comes in. I've always felt that I pick up on things fairly quickly, but never really excel at any certain activity. I want to learn quickly what my purpose is and where God wants me to go. I'm ready to go anywhere and do anything with anyone, I just need a general direction to head towards. Hopefully it will be Florida or Hawaii... Farewell for now, my leg is burning so hopefully the sleep will lull it away.

So what have I been up to?

Blogging is great. It really is, however, I've found something that helps me unwind a lot more. You see earlier tonight I was wishing for a way to get away, but then remembered that I had photography stuff due tomorrow (thanks DJ).

So I got the assignment for tomorrow done, but wanted to get ahead on my landscape shot. I drove out to 68, went into Wesley village to try to grab some shots, but there was nothing there for me. I heard a siren while I was in there and while i was pulling out, an ambulance pulled in. I hope whoever it was they were coming for turned out to be alright. Then, I went to Bethel Point Neighborhood because I was trying to find somewhere high to take the picture from. One night we drove around there and found this huuuuge pile of dirt and Marie-Claire and DJ kind of dared me to go to the top of it. It was one of those situations that started with, "You won't...." So of course I did. But there again, no pictures were to be found. As I was driving around that neighborhood, I saw these lights over the train tracks and there just so happened to be a ladder on the side of the lights, so I climbed up, but still there weren't any quality viewpoints from up there. So off I drove back down 68 and onto 169. It turned out to have lots of potential but by this time, the sun was going down and the landscape shots were fleeting. I took a few pictures and played around making light trails from cars, but also just realized how much fun it was to just take pictures. (I'll post some later, but I don't feel like getting my camera out.) I was so relaxed and just kept taking different shots with different shutter speeds and aperture openings that I didn't care that I was standing in front of a bunch of cows or taking pictures of cars that went by. I also took St. Augustine's confessions and a notebook but didn't make it to that. We also had Encounter and small group tonight which was awesome. Encounter was cool but small group is going to be sooo good. There are some really quality people and even more quality leaders in the group. I'm excited and honored to be in there group.

So what does all this mean? Well...I don't know it's just my blog. I also like Miley Cyrus's new song, "Party in the U.S.A." I don't know why, but I do. It's kind of embarrassing, but I can't help it. Wow it's 1. Peace out.

Mother Epiphany

Ok so I'm at home. Here in Mckenzie freaking Tennessee. It's not bad this time...really I'm having a good time so far. My mom and I went to watch Julie and Julia which was a great movie, if you haven't seen it, you should. It's appropriate, funny, sad, happy, and not sappy. Well not too sappy. Anyway, back to the title. I think I figured out why I dislike talking to my mom sometimes. She compliments too much. Perhaps this is more so my problem than her's, but if you know me, then you know that I hate to be complimented more than anything. While writing this blog I just realized something else. There are times when the compliments I receive are ok, for example at least 6 people said they liked the color of my shirt or it matched my skin well or whatever. I can objectively come to the conclusion that this shirt is good and so I accept it. If there is not enough data, or I do not agree with the compliment, that is when I become uncomfortable and have a hard time accepting the compliment. Dumb huh? haha. It's almost as if I don't have enough self-belief or confidence to take someone's word that I'm "good at a lot of things," or "well mannered" or anything like that. Just thought that I would share this moment of revelation with my internet world friends. Have a great weekend!

It's God or bust

Just a disclaimer you might think you know what this blog is about, but you don't. Anyway...

After going to church today and talking with Bill tonight I realized how true that statement was. Everything in my life has to be through God or else it sucks. Each part of my life must first be almost passed through God like a filter to make sure it is clean and good for me. If it isn't then I shouldn't do, say, or think it. All my life I've known about these rules and regulations of the Bible and how are supposed to live our lives. However, in Bill's story that he told me, the relationship was centered around Christ and it worked.

Now don't get me wrong here. I'm not saying that if I ask God about something then it will automatically work. That's another lesson I've been dealing with this semester. It seems to me that my situations start off with a little bit of prayer and a whole lot of me wanting something to work. By the end it's just like when you pressure someone into buying something. It turns out as a return or cancellation. At least that's what happens during the summer. When you really open your mind and opinion to letting the customer buy then they are free to make the decision and are honestly more likely to buy simply because of the mood and option they are given. I want nothing more than to be obedient to God no matter how hard or backwards it may seem in my mind. Why not take this chance that I have to work on it in college rather than when I have bigger things to worry about. It's like practicing before a big game. This is it, my last year of practice so I feel like I better get on the ball.

This didn't really go the way I thought it would, but that's ok. I hope you enjoyed this portion of my thoughts and if you didn't, well, perhaps the next one will be better. Don't give up on me yet.

New but not familiar

That's how I feel this year started. I still know a lot of people, but my outlook towards them is different. I know them, but they hold a different value because I realize that this may be the last year I will see them. It's crazy, but kind of exciting. To be honest it really hasn't hit me that I'll be leaving Asbury in 9 months. I'm excited though. I have minimal hours of class time, so I just have to figure out what I'm going to do with all my spare time. I have so many opportunities and plan to advance on as many as I can. Nothing can stop me. That's what I learned from this summer. Whatever I want to do, I can do. It's awesome. If I want to read a book I can. If I want to go take pictures I can. If I want to sit on the internet for 7 hours (I can do that now with my new macbook pro haha) then I can.

God places so many options in front of me each year. The difference is that this year I know it. I can see them unfold before my eyes. It's tough to go from a summer alone where everyday is like a devotional back into the real social realm. I actually have to engage with people again and maintain my relationships. I can't just be silent for the majority of the day. One of the toughest things for me is trying to keep up my relationship with God. During the summer it's so easy to ask for things, thank Him, or just talk. Now that I'm back at school my mind is on a million different things. It's on school work, friends, money, expenses, fun, work, my future, and all kinds of minor essentials of life. My job now is to harness those thoughts and figure out a time and place for each of them so that I can make the most of this year. I hope I can take the things I learned during the summer and apply them to real life.

I'll end with three reasons why I love Asbury:

Back Home

Well the summer is fleeting and I'm trying to detox myself back into normality. It's crazy, but I've already signed up for next year. I want to do better than I did this year. I want to have people on my team to push me and motivate me. This school year should be very different than previous ones because my momentum from the book field is just keeping my spirits high. I feel closer to God, closer to my goals, friends, and family. I want so badly to just keep my momentum going through the school year and get ready for after school life. My plan now is cool. I'm going to shadow someone during the school year to find out if I want to get into real estate. Then I'll work the summer and put away 10,000-15,000 to have enough money to really job search. That way I won't be caught in the situation where I have to take the first job that comes along. For some reason I don't really feel like writing anymore. sorry. i'll get back to this one.

My addiction

Yes I have one now. I'm sure I had plenty but this one has become very obvious over the summer. It's clear to me now that I am totally addicted to Owl City. I love them (or him I guess). I want to be best friends with him and have him make me a new song everday. How sweet would that be? I love music. Adam Young is my major man crush right now haha.